Intimacy: Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me...

By Wrabel - 08/06/2015 16:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 438

You deserved it 9 945

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Same thing different taste

By skinnyguy23 - 10/09/2014 22:40 - United States - Briarcliff Manor

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 497

You deserved it 3 629

Too embarrassed to get them from a store?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2020 02:00

Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 664

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 3 412

Enjoy the show

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 397

Prank war W

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 299

You deserved it 9 906

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 277

You deserved it 17 101

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 429

By Anonymous - 24/05/2013 21:43 - Iceland - Akureyri

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 591

You deserved it 6 289

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 160

You deserved it 564

My package

By Nikki - 20/11/2019 05:00

Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 714

Llama_Man2000 26

Monday 8 June 2015 23:55

Don't invite her to make a speech at your wedding...

nonsensical 26

Monday 8 June 2015 23:57

That's when you do an Austin Powers and insist on the fact that it is not yours.

Comments

Shepflexxy 8

Tuesday 9 June 2015 16:01

Which package was she pointing at and was she laughing?

melanielovejeff 15

Tuesday 9 June 2015 16:16

The more you have sex, the longer you'll last. However, if frequent sex isn't working for you, than I can understand why you ordered pills. Also exercise helps you last longer too. Shame on your mother. She should of at least pretended that she didn't know anything instead of confronting you. Sounds like she found pleasure in embarrassing you. Sorry for you OP

Jayroc 18

Tuesday 9 June 2015 16:36

Hopefully she goes soft on you!!

shinikageWolf 15

Tuesday 9 June 2015 16:45

And that's why I only order things like that when my folks are frequently out of the house, at work and such.

dawanjony 18

Tuesday 9 June 2015 17:24

Let me know if it's work

Miss_Mandi 29

Tuesday 9 June 2015 19:47

This reminds me of another FML where the OP decided to open her son's packet labeled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" and got glitter-bombed. Leave one of those for her :)