Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Man2000 26
Don't invite her to make a speech at your wedding...
nonsensical 26
That's when you do an Austin Powers and insist on the fact that it is not yours.
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Comments (135)
Shepflexxy 8
Which package was she pointing at and was she laughing?
melanielovejeff 15
The more you have sex, the longer you'll last. However, if frequent sex isn't working for you, than I can understand why you ordered pills. Also exercise helps you last longer too. Shame on your mother. She should of at least pretended that she didn't know anything instead of confronting you. Sounds like she found pleasure in embarrassing you. Sorry for you OP
Jayroc 18
Hopefully she goes soft on you!!
shinikageWolf 15
And that's why I only order things like that when my folks are frequently out of the house, at work and such.
dawanjony 18
Let me know if it's work
Miss_Mandi 29
This reminds me of another FML where the OP decided to open her son's packet labeled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" and got glitter-bombed. Leave one of those for her :)
cjohns6954 6
She held her smile longer then you can hold yourself. ha
Notyomomma 0
Its illegal to open someone else's mail. Just saying
rec_chem 22
Yd I just for buying into the possibility that those pills might actually do something for you.
baahs101 4
bitch