Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Man2000 26
Don't invite her to make a speech at your wedding...
nonsensical 26
That's when you do an Austin Powers and insist on the fact that it is not yours.
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Comments (135)
kpetrovski 24
This woman clearly has no sleuthing skills what so ever. Don't most Amazon packages have the itinerary receipt on the outside of the package? If she wanted to know just look at the recipes. If you're opening the package, not only is it against the law to open mail that isn't yours, but you're just doing it to spite someone. That's shitty; sorry OP.
captaincarlz 17
I'm assuming he's at least 18 years or older since he ordered them.
limabeans101029 21
Not necessarily. You don't have to be a certain age to order things on the internet, in fact it's very easy to lie about your age. Still doesn't give his mother the right to go through his mail though.
numberswoman 14
WHY was she opening your mail?
mnmags 5
Which package was she pointing at?
alex_gen 39
When you say "smiled at you", I feel an incest situation is coming up. :S
jet223 20
Guess you didn't have a great and concealed package.
Jayy_Dash23 9
at least you getting some.
protoskore 27
This was one of the factors that drove me to find a way to move out from my parents' house. My dad would open every letter and every package that arrived, regardless of who it was addressed to.
Jefffz 13
Your mom opens your packages? About your package?
davek 36
You got taken in by a scam on those pills. There are also such things as condoms with a small amount of anaesthetic in, don't know if they're any good. If it's a real problem, see your doctor.