Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
TheTragicReturn 0
Somebody should make ideservedit.com and direct this poster to the site. PS: You're lucky it wasn't anything worse than dog food.
buttsever 0
I'm angry too...blah blah blah...surely this directly affects me!!!!!!!!
gutteda 0
WIN! Dog food is a great idea. And for those of you who are suggesting broken glass and laxatives, you are ******* assholes. A person who steals food does not deserve to die, retards. They need to simply be taught a lesson. On passive aggressive notes, someone admitted putting horse laxatives in food to see who was stealing it and 2 people in the office had to go to the hospital. The ******* ER had no idea what they were dealing with & the people could have been killed because the "really smart and savvy" laxative planter wasn't about to admit that she had done it. Dog food is a brilliant idea! Props!
mushrooms_fml 0
Yes because I'm sure the morgue is FILLED with people who died from laxative-related accidents. Please. There's a difference between horse laxatives and regular laxatives.
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
I would just make a really good sandwich and stuff it full of laxatives. Seriously, what is worse, eating dog food for 1 second or ******** all day long?
Hellsno 0
That's what you get for stealing otehr people's food, you asshat!
unejeunefille_fml 0
another good idea would have been a placenta sandwich.
molitov 0
ydi a million times.. I've always wondered what sort of douch would steal someone food... dumbass, I hope u ate every bite before realizing what it was... u r a prick n karma will get u everytime.. enjoy
zyq9 0
Still got a free lunch, eh? Maybe this will teach you not to be an asshole.
123e3 0
Good thing he made dog food sandwiches cuz you're nothing better than a dog!