Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
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Top comments
Conkers 0
Why're you complaining? Would you rather he not use any with you? He wants to be safe. Geez... People these days.
Witchcraft_fml 5
inconvienentgurl - Please stop saying things, especially when you don't understand what you're talking about. You're giving me a massive headache. He meant the roommate wanted to have sex with him. Now, you're enlightened. And you misspelled inconvenient.
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Comments (112)
kayceesaysfyl 0
awesome he sounds like he wants to save money on trojans ....naw
mrose57 0
Oh, snap!
iljajlm 4
Uhh...awkward...
Six_and_the_Moon 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How awful, someone wants to have sex with you. Your life must be unbearable. I have a feeling this entire scenario would be a non-issue had your new roommate been a girl, which just makes it sad. If you're straight, you say "Thanks for the offer, but I'm straight". If you're gay, you say "Thanks for the offer, but I'm not interested". End of story. Not an FML.
lmmmr 0
This.
PaulG10 0
hell yes!
FurryPurryKee 0
#16, it's awkward and embarassing if your roommate wants to have sex with you and you don't reciprocate those feelings, whatever their sex. Especially if they've seen you with your pants off--roommates of the same gender aren't always as careful to cover up around each other. Stop trying to make it sound like he's being homophobic.
captainamerica50 0
#16 is a moron
thirdbase1733 0
do You realize how wildly uncomfortable that makes his life
thirdbase1733 0
do You realize how wildly uncomfortable that makes his life
Zalacoza 16
Yes! So true.
aback 5
...ick.
harveywallbanger 0
Hot. You should have.
Witchcraft_fml 5
He wants to **** you. Take it as a compliment or don't, but take it regardless. Be flattered, who knows when your next lay will be.
Zero2Sixty 0
wow you gotta change because obviously he thinks your gay in a way
Kira_fml 0
YEA BCUZ OMG THAT IZ TOTES SUMTHIN 2 CHANGE! You ******* moron...
awkwardturtley 0
Actually, yes it is if he doesn't want people to think he's gay which it seems OP doesn't. Obviously OP's room mate thought he was gay or something so people are getting a message he isn't intentionally sending out so before you bitch think it through cuz something DOES hafta change if OP doesn't want his room mate or others to think he's gay.
mycleverusername 0
Well, at least he's considerate.
penisface69 17
congrats.