Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
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Top comments
Conkers 0
Why're you complaining? Would you rather he not use any with you? He wants to be safe. Geez... People these days.
Witchcraft_fml 5
inconvienentgurl - Please stop saying things, especially when you don't understand what you're talking about. You're giving me a massive headache. He meant the roommate wanted to have sex with him. Now, you're enlightened. And you misspelled inconvenient.
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Comments (112)
El_mariachi 0
kick his ass
phatdaddy62 23
So??? Politely decline, move on with life - who really cares?
akosirm 8
that is weird. just try talking to him if that makes you feel better.:)
rimbob45 0
omg lol
mariahasissues 0
hahahahahah. thats hilarious.
phatdaddy62 23
He wants to be Butt Buddies!
alexthecutie 0
what's wrong with that?
mclulu11 0
lol. don't drop the soap!!! muahahahahahaha
DAN7IEL 2
umm I wanna know how you found out that he meant not separately
sammy259 3
I would change roommates, college or wat ever the **** ur in, zip codes, state, country, shit u ships just kill ur self