Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend slowly and deliberately eating chicken wings while sitting in front of the cage while making eye contact with my beloved bird. When she saw me staring at her in horror, she let out the creepiest, most maniacal laugh I’ve ever heard. What the actual fuck?! FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games, until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iheartbewbies 0
Drink a redbull. I heard it gives you wings. Then maybe she'll suck the meat out of you. Sigh... I tried.
perdix 31
Slightly turned on? I'm exceptionally turned on by the image of your wife sucking meat off bones. Of course, she was doing something similar to me last night, so the symbolism is more obvious to me. Sorry, bro.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
ikickgingers 15
Is it wrong that this fml slightly turns me on??
Enslaved 38
I am too. Every time I witness a girl eating wings especially -the flats..... I always think....Haha, two bones in her mouth at once. :O
paigeme 0
You mean fried poultry soaked in sauce. Never heard of fried sauce soaked I'm poultry lmao
teacher25 3
Just whip your man part out and put it in her face and tell her to suck. Might actually work.
ikickgingers 15
Well teacher... When people say man parts or lady bits I laugh hysterically. I'd personally vote for word use such as; ****.
teacher25 3
Well, I didnt want to offend anyone by using the word ****.
Comet_Candy 23
A cat is fine too.
jellenwood 35
That's sick and sad at the same time.
kristen69 0
HAVE SEX WITH HER THEN!!!!
frank678 7
I think you mean "poultry soaked in fried sauce."
JinxosGirl87 0
Tell her that you get turned on by her, make her feel sexy and she might get confidence enough to put out. If you're going to sit there silently jacking off during dinner and she doesn't know you have a problem with the lack of sex, you're not helping the situation.
justanotherhuman 21
^ pro
PhilMcHawk 7
I approve of this thread (x
Beeftinkle 13
Soon enough, you will eat her chiken wings op