Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend slowly and deliberately eating chicken wings while sitting in front of the cage while making eye contact with my beloved bird. When she saw me staring at her in horror, she let out the creepiest, most maniacal laugh I’ve ever heard. What the actual fuck?! FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games, until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
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Top comments
iheartbewbies 0
Drink a redbull. I heard it gives you wings. Then maybe she'll suck the meat out of you. Sigh... I tried.
perdix 31
Slightly turned on? I'm exceptionally turned on by the image of your wife sucking meat off bones. Of course, she was doing something similar to me last night, so the symbolism is more obvious to me. Sorry, bro.
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Comments (146)
HideouslyHuman 10
I'm sorry,but all of your comments get thumbed in the downward direction...Why do you keep commenting things?:-(
havocmike 3
She sounds fat. So do you.
SMAHIN510 0
your patetic that u went that low
MEXIKANO 0
So u ********** while watching ur hamster
kittyLoveZombiez 0
What's Fried sauce soaked poultry ?
Jujubilee 1
Just cover your junk in BBQ sauce!
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Anyone that uses a fleshlight is a loser. Anyone that watches *********** is a sick ****. Anyone that likes to **** animals is a disturbed, nasty ******* waste of a human.
Palirose 22
90- are you sure? If do my life no longer has meaning. Lool
teh_uber_muffin 3
My chicken brings all the boys to the yard and damn right, it's better than yours. Damn right, it's better than yours. I would treat you but I'd have to charge. Yeah. I went there.
DeafChef 0
**** your life...