Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I finally matched with someone on Tinder after using it for a month. I sent a message and they unmatched. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML
Today, at a time when dating app usage is at an all time high, in 3 months I've only managed 4 likes and one brief match on Bumble. I'm not terrible looking by any means, yet I'm weeks away from my 8-year anniversary of being single. Am I cursed or something? FML
Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML
Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
coopcas 0
eHarmony is full of bigots, anyhow. Go out more, you're wasting your money. They don't even accept gays, the bastards.
24788 7
Why don't you try contacting them?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
amatayo 0
(Bikermike) Way to really push your point
tgm0112 0
eHarmony is a highly theocentric site started by an Evangelist to maintain the number of religiously active Christian couples in America. It has its own agenda which has little to do with the wishes of its users. Moreover, it does not allow you to differentiate between paying and nonpaying users. Many of your suggested matches may have been people that couldn't even contact you if they were interested. They do this to give the appearance that they boast a larger dating bloc than they actually have. FYL for falling in their net. A little online research would show you that it's been rather poorly reviewed, but it's not your fault they're dicks.
heyyou1203 0
Online dating sites can be a great way to meet people if you're in a remote area, suburbia where everyone's married with children, or in just a sticky place in life and maybe don't have the resources to go out and meet people at bars. While #34 makes some really good points though about dating site scams, i also think that you should contact them. don't play the victim of damsel in distress waiting for your prince charming to rescue you, or in this case e-mail you.
_cheeseballs 0
STOP SITTING ON YOUR LAZY ASS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CONTACT YOU. Why don't you use the brain you have, and contact them first? -_- idiot. PS; I do have to admit, I read it and didn't notice the 'fml' on the end was missing.
rey619 0
wtf? WHERES THE FML?
Essentials 0
Be more proactive. Contact them.
F_Y_Comments 0
If you realised when trying to make a new account then that really sucks! Never mind they were probably 134 lucky escapes.
Gillypants 3
ugh online dating sucks. i've tried it a few times and it never works out. right now i'm seeing the first guy i've met not-online in like a year and a half, and its working out SOOOOOO much better than anything i've ever had. seriously, try meeting people IRL. i used to be an online dating advocate, but now i'm like, FTS.
Honda288 2
Haha
LeeJH 0
Try joining a social club.