Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, I decided to clean my entire apartment. While vacuuming, I sucked up something big. I didn’t realize what it was until later when I couldn’t find my engagement ring. I digged through a vacuum bag full of dust, crumbs, and mystery hair, only to realize it was on my finger the whole time. FML
Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML
Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML
Today, in the process of leaning over the sink to close the drain so my diamond earrings wouldn't fall in as I put them on, I dropped my diamond earring down the drain. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
'A diamond in the rough' doesn't even begin to cover this. And all those scene songs about diamonds and pussy now have context, don't they?
QTp13 10
Why would a cat eat diamond earrings?? That does not make any sense, unless of course you starved and depraved your cat of food and water, and he thought to take vengeance :D I dont know I could be wrong
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Comments (88)
Mabster84 2
What exactly made you so sure that your cat has eaten them? First you were sure that it had to be the vacuum but that didn't pan out... Maybe you're just a dimwit and left them somewhere that you forgot about?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Your cat craps diamonds? Where can I get myself one of those? >^(o.o)^ Text-Kitty fail.
muffinsareyummy 1
not sure why people even pay so much for ******* earrings. just go to claires and get a knockoff.
tropicthunder 3
Wow..
WonderBlunder 0
This is either fake or OP's a retard. What in the world makes you think your cat ate you diamond earring?? It's hard and cold, your cat will never eat it..
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, I'll show you something hard and cold...
lackofsanityx 0
hahahaha that was excellent.
WonderBlunder 0
OP better not let the cat go out, even in the back yard. There are lots of rocks and stones out there and the cat might eat them..
kellster 2
I'm sorry you're "felling" so shitty about it!
plexico 4
It's well known that when cats eat genuine diamonds they poop out cubic zirconiums. It's not like your husband/boyfriend cheaped out on you and spent most of his genuine diamond money on hookers and your slutty "fun" sister and gave you something that looks like diamonds.
BioMajor12 0
Maybe you should put them up where they belong so this doesnt happen. Who just leaves diamond earrings lying around?
TheKitsune 0
You do realize what will happen to the insides of an animal that eats diamonds right? Take your cat to the vet!
time4coffee 3
Save the money on the vet, just buy new earrings.