Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
saIty 17
Just before he tries to get smoochy, pop 10 mints in your mouth. Then as you engage contact spit them all in his mouth.
perdix 31
Get a job at the local wastewater treatment plant so you can be around the smell of raw sewage all day. You'll get accustomed to it and your boyfriend's mouth will just taste like work. Or get a new boyfriend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (195)
gatorkiss 0
Buy Mr. Halitosis some breath mints. He will get the hint . If nothing changes then enforce the three foot rule.
funblondnurse 1
I would tell him to see a doctor many medical problems cause bad breath and are easy to fix. If you care about him. Help him.
miZscrZee 0
Throw a BREATH MINT in there every 5 minutes. LOL. (:
Stumblebum30 5
This is where communication comes in handy. Be honest with him, but not mean. If he gets upset over something like this then, he won't handle bigger more serious issues well either. Then it's time to rethink whether or not this relationship is right for you.
loserman67 36
OKay, everyone is missing something here. Does he go down on you on a regular basis? Maybe you need to douche a little more often? Just spitballing......
betty66 3
aaaahhaaaaaha I bet it's true
TheNewGuy03 29
Dag, I know that having a dude with super chronic motherfucking halitosis sucks serious dick, but you're forgetting the most important element: telling him exactly that. If he already knows and is not doing anything about it, then he's just a big penis. |the kid|
xfyre 11
maybe he's doing Jenkem? haha
chosha_fml 27
YDI for not just telling him he has bad breath. He's your boyfriend...be honest with him.
zombiekitten87 12
You could always have a mint and then offer him one, but if that doesn't work, man up and talk to him about it nicely. Ask him if he's feeling well, because his breath is a little off.
cdatribe23 0
Buy him some floss and mouthwash lol