Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Just before he tries to get smoochy, pop 10 mints in your mouth. Then as you engage contact spit them all in his mouth.
perdix 31
Get a job at the local wastewater treatment plant so you can be around the smell of raw sewage all day. You'll get accustomed to it and your boyfriend's mouth will just taste like work. Or get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (195)
HomeAl0ne 20
Maybe he just needs to gargle after having sex with you, especially if he's tossing your salad. Reminds me of the time I first stayed at my girlfriend's house. I walked into the kitchen, took a deep breath and exclaimed "Mmmm, kippers for breakfast!?". He mother just looked at me and said "No, porridge. Now go and wash your hands and face".
hobojo69 23
I was going to say the same thing 0.o I guess great minds think alike!!!
NoahCOD24 5
ummm either deal with it your self, or break up with him!
MerrikBarbarian 9
I dunno. my dentist diagnosed a sinus infection before my doc did because the only symptom I had was tooth pain. dentists can sometimes say what's wrong even if it's not teeth
tigermilz 1
How is this a fml moment ?? This is more stupidity !! Speak up and tell him his breathe stinks !
RedSharpieInk 5
Just say he can't kiss you until he gets the sewer out of his mouth..:D
ballbearing 10
Say something! Perhaps he has an infection in his mouth or sinuses.
smirnoff1695 0
Hold his mouth open and make him drink mouthwash!
Cigar 11
I feel for you. A very close friend of mine has decaying teeth, they haven't been saving money to get it checked out and just kind of deal with the pain. I hold my breath when they laugh in my direction or talk to me directly.
donetsk1991 1
Tell him to go see a doctor this might be a serious problem that might be coming from the digestive system