Love: Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated...

By screwed - 30/07/2009 03:20 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 953

You deserved it 3 061

Love

Our house, in the middle of our street

Backstabbing

Scarcity

By anon - 30/06/2016 17:33 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 833

You deserved it 687

By Keldar - 19/08/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 568

You deserved it 40 478

By trolls have hit the gutters - 17/02/2015 18:23 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 552

You deserved it 4 609

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 132

You deserved it 4 001

By ahuman - 29/09/2013 05:10 - United States

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 696

You deserved it 9 740

By Anonymous - 04/03/2013 14:23 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 514

You deserved it 7 603

By chickfilady - 29/07/2016 03:10

Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 946

You deserved it 2 273

By scared2poop - 12/04/2016 02:30 - Australia - Brighton

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 299

You deserved it 3 738

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 429

You deserved it 6 559

By Finesse7791 - 20/09/2009 12:28 - United States

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 832

You deserved it 2 902

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 11:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 429

You deserved it 3 569

Talk is cheap

By Tris - 12/09/2019 16:00

Today, my co-workers keep making fun of me because I said, “You’re very so welcome.” They say it's not proper grammar, but honestly I can’t find anything that says I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 1 989

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 047

You deserved it 2 541

By whoawhat - 11/11/2009 06:55 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 478

You deserved it 4 008

Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge, I'm trying not to lose my head

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, and since I found out that I'm pregnant, I've been sober. I used to smoke weed to help with me depression and anxiety, but now I can't even take prescription medicine for it. I'm about to throw hands at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 314

By Frouse - 04/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 2 537

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 616

You deserved it 8 773

By TheNewSalesRep - 21/01/2016 02:37 - Canada - Brantford

Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 344

You deserved it 1 352

By Keith walk - 12/02/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 186

You deserved it 22 834

By stardustveins - 24/09/2015 01:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 021

You deserved it 27 816

By Detroitman125 - 10/11/2018 03:00

Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple times after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 624

You deserved it 217

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 221

You deserved it 5 609

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 886

You deserved it 1 173

By ausmill12 - 19/11/2012 06:18 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 582

You deserved it 5 180

Caine

By dogless - 04/12/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I found my pitbull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He'd peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60-dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 160

You deserved it 6 620

By somewhatlucky - 27/12/2011 09:42 - United States

Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 996

You deserved it 3 857

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 392

You deserved it 2 723

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 00:52 - United States - Ithaca

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 255

You deserved it 23 586

By Mikabe - 14/02/2011 18:51 - Sweden

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 312

You deserved it 12 908

By Carlyclose - 16/06/2017 00:00

Today, I got rejected from Sephora, Walgreens and Ulta for being OVER-qualified with a post-graduate diploma in cosmetic chemistry. Then, I got rejected from Estée Lauder, LVMH and Proctor and Gamble for being UNDER-qualified with a post-graduate diploma in cosmetic chemistry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 169

You deserved it 357

By stuckwithafamilyofcunts - 27/04/2013 20:23 - Spain - El Puig

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 569

You deserved it 3 662

Family values

By Jaime and Cersei sittin in a tree - 04/11/2020 13:02 - United States - Madison

Today, I complimented my girlfriend on her new, very detailed bikini wax. She proudly said, "Thanks! Troy’s been doing them for me since the all the salons have been locked down." Troy is her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 15:03 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 408

You deserved it 15 421

By Noname - 25/11/2008 18:05 - Canada

Today, I was going to confess to my best friend that I am madly in love with her. I called her up only to find her crying. She was upset that she might be pregnant with some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 926

You deserved it 2 875

Leave me alone!

By mattrd - 06/11/2021 08:00

Today, I got my 11-year old son the NERF Elite 2.0 Shockwave RD-15 Blaster that he has been begging for as his birthday gift. Guess who the primary target is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 817

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 17:10 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 138

You deserved it 4 169

By Shortcake - 05/07/2012 01:48 - Canada - Pitt Meadows

Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 2 009

By Headless - 29/05/2015 13:04 - Denmark - Lyngby

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 624

You deserved it 8 959

Seize the day

By John S. - 25/04/2021 16:59

Today, I finally decided to try to get a date with the girl I like at work. While I was looking for her around the office, her supervisor approached me. She's in the hospital due to Covid-19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 108

By people will think I'm Shelley Duvall - 08/06/2017 20:00

Today, my son's yearbook came. I was pretty happy, because I also ordered a larger version of his photo because he's going to California for college and I wanted a special picture of him to keep. Unfortunately, my happiness disappeared when I saw that he was wearing a horse mask in the photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 496

You deserved it 773

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Top comments

DameGreyWulf 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:16

What is it with boyfriends/girlfriends cheating with best friends? Seriously? I'm genuinely curious. If you think someone is better than another, then just fucking dump them and go for that someone. People need to grow some pubic hair...

bioagg12 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:12

haha wow. i hope your mom isnt the best friend!!

OWNTPWNT 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:11

first

beardo8 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:31

YDI FOR HAVING A MOM

freezeframefame 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 10:29

wow then you deserve what ever karma brings you for breathing

blink182rocks 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 10:37

YDI for being born, and FIRST!

iBimmer 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 14:46

YDI for having a MILF.

KumoFF7 3

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Thursday 30 July 2009 20:36

yes you are

Monumentalfail 0

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Wednesday 31 March 2010 21:10

#47 how in the hell do you know her mom is a milf??? And Op you just got cheated on and your fml-ing cause she knew before you???? i think you missed the bigger issue. epic fail. but fyl that does suck

bioagg12 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:12

haha wow. i hope your mom isnt the best friend!!

plexico 3

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Thursday 30 July 2009 15:13

That's what I thought, too. You know how they say, "Great minds think alike." That's not really true, great minds think unique, original thoughts. So I say, "We garden-variety assholes think alike." It's a good one this time around. Cheers!

volleyballgirl16 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 20:50

lmao thatd suck so bad

fmlbaby_fml 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:14

That SUCKS! :(

yeaboiii 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:14

Well thats not a bad thing! now you know!

DameGreyWulf 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:16

yeaboiii 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:18

your into pubes eh? nasty but w/e floats your boat

DameGreyWulf 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:25

LMFAO oh god, that made my day Well, I was going to say "grow some chest hair" or something, but I thought I'd get those feminists all over me, or people assuming I only meant guys.

kissa12369 6

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Monday 27 August 2012 9:45

is more pain if you loose the two of them... but if he goes away was for a reason

9six7four4 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:18

So what were you crying about then?

fmldude123 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:20

I really have to know...why do people bother putting "first" on every damn fml? And why do people put YDI on things like this when it clearly is not her fault at all? People can just be so stupid. But it's ok OP your better off without people like them! And I guess your mom is just cool like that :) Don't worry about it too much just move on.

OWNTPWNT 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:25

I put first for hater comments because they amuse me and the same thing goes for people who say YDI for no reason

fmldude123 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 9:28

mmm too bad your comment got buried. nice try though owntpwnt!

OWNTPWNT 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 10:01

Oh well :(

divineinstrument 2

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Thursday 30 July 2009 10:50

@#9: You're new here right? That's just what happens. It's called trolling. People post either their number or a YDI reason which is usually quite shit (occasionally quite funny) to get angry reactions out of other people. A lot of people are learning not to feed the trolls by reacting, but some people just don't have self-control. Here's a list of the full-time trolls (the ones who don't post anything other than troll-posts): Jandersonii M13L0 Chriswashere Bitchisback YDI_bitch