Now you need some medicated cream of your own. Good luck.

Aw damn. I'm sorry OP.

You're everywhere.

I was once pulling weeds and apparently touched poison ivy. Then I went to take a leak

then what happened.... the suspense is killing me... i am itching to find out!

Bad things man... Bad things

that's why you scrub in the shower immediately after touching poison ivy.

Brilliant idea, Sherlock

this one time in high school, my ex and i were hooking up in the woods behind the school. aparantly in a big patch of poison ivy. she ended up with a head to toe rash. it was not a pretty sight. thats also when i learned i was immune to it. needless to say she was nowhere near as happy as i was about this

What were you both doing that resulted in you being smeared from head to toe with her handcream? Wait, I don't think I want to know...

hand cream...her hands, his cock and balls... should be self explanatory

Ohhh idk... maybe hmm... normal married couple things?? As in. SEX.

one word "vaso"

Vaso... what?

Vasoline???

You should get a cream for that.....oh......sorry

Well, it seems like you had some sweet, sweet sex with your wife. Good for you.

Did you put it on yourself?

No. There is this thing called "contact". And stop flipping me off!

I was wondering the same thing. It's not like he specifies that they had sex, could've just been masturbating.

Why would he masturbate with his wife's medicated hand cream?

he couldn't find lube or moisturiser...

Hey at least your wife touches your balls!

Why was it on your balls?

i think he got lucky

when giving a handjob, you always include the balls...