Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 25
Not even safe in your own home.
Welshite 39
At least you had the decency to wait until you left the elevator. Not many do.
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Comments (69)
shadowbeast300 4
why is there a 5 on FML
Waspinator1998 21
5ML - five milliliters?
ruchg1 5
LOL, good one.
Defecately 18
been there... awkward!
DanielleinDC 33
Your parents deserve it for letting themselves into your place without your being there. And at least it was only your parents. They've probably dealt with worse things coming out of your butt than a big ol' fart.
TallMist 32
I don't see why this is getting downvoted. #39 is completely right. OP's parents have no right to be in her apartment without permission. It is OP's home, not the parents'. What those parents did was trespassing.
abeg157 14
The FML Team did state that they have accepted mispelled FML because they were drunk as shit for some reason or another. And today's their birthday.
glabberfasted 16
So? Who doesn't fart around their parents?
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Done
hexo21 13
5ml
miss_jules 11
At least it was just your folks there.....imagine they'd planned a suprise party for you for some reason. Could have been worse!
angeluscado 15
See, this is why my parents (and my mother in law) do not have keys to our building/apartment.