By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 01:29 - United States - Petaluma

Spicy
Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML
I agree, your life sucks 52 469
You deserved it 5 738

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At least she still cares about your health.

Even senile, she has your best interest at heart :) I think that's sweet

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At least she still cares about your health.

Exactly. While mildly awkward to have the sex talk from your (rough guess) 70 year old mother, her heart's in the right place.

i could be wrong here but i feel like it should be "just got the sex talk" vs "just got given" just doesn't sound right.

Nah it was GIVEN to him, it is now his forever! Well... Until he goes to see a therapist

If she is senile god knows what she said about it.....

34 and facebook? You deserved it.

better late than never!

In his situation, 'never' would have probably been preferable. :|

Even senile, she has your best interest at heart :) I think that's sweet

I see it as a sign of her undying love for her son. That's really sweet.

you could always delete all of it. it doesn't have to stay there.

Exactly! But the question arises...how did it get to that situation anyway??

With some of the updates some people put on Facebook, this really doesn't surprise me.

Hmm good point. Someone give this man a cookie

I do like cookies.

exactly, why was a senile mother using Facebook, of all things. and it doesn't surprise me either but I don't understand why he's complaining (complaining by making an FML) when as soon as his mother did that he could have deleted it.

Why is a senile mother on Facebook anyway? Really? You can't really deny someone a Facebook, unless they violate the terms and conditions set forth by the website. And she probably has it to keep in touch with her family. And I don't know this for sure, but I'm guessing as soon as he saw it he didn't just jump right on FML. I'm sure it was deleted first, and then he realized he could probably get a few laughs out of it by posting it on here. -_-

and she has a Facebook because.....?

Is there an age limit to FaceBook? I forget that once people reach a certain age they are deemed too old to be allowed to interact with the younger generations. She probably has it to stay in touch with family.

Only reason I have it. Staying in touch.

arandomusernameaa 20

props to her for having Facebook and keeping up with technology :D

You idiots act like old people don't know how to use technology. My grandfather's brother fixes computers and things like it, he is close to 60...

My friend's Grandma is on Facebook and she's really active on it. Her children and grandchildren are really spread out so it makes getting family updates a lot easier.

My mom has Facebook to keep in touch with the family. So does my aunt.

My 80 year old mom has a blog, FB, and LinkedIn accts. And she has more friends then me.

It's never too late man. Remember the 40 year old virgin? ^_^

I have a funny feeling that being a 40 year old virgin wouldnt be as fun in real life as it was in the movie

I don't think the movie made it look fun at all tbh

The movie made it look depressing. Especially when the chick knocked over his action figures.

That is sad. I'm really getting the feeling that you're a 34 year old virgin who lives in his mother's basement, and if you are, you deserve it.

I know a man who got married in his late-forties without ever having a prior relationship. It was his choice to wait until he found the right woman and share a special experience with her. He and his wife are still happily married. I suppose that with a name like "SuckMeBeautifu1" you think that losing virginity at a young age validates your "manliness", and those who don't are lesser people. That is what I find sad.

@11 Good for him but in my opinion you have to lead a pretty sad and boring life to not have any sexual experiences even past 25. Life pretty short and you only get one, so I think its kind of stupid if you are privileged enough to be in the top 10% of the world's wealth, but yet waste your life following a monotonous routine, drinking tea, not socializing, and generally wasting the fruits of life. And by the way if you dont have kids by 35 the chance of having down-syndrome children is increased severely, and keeps rising every year you leave it. And there is the whole social aspect that if someone hasnt had sexual experiences with anyone by there 20's that there must be a reason for it, such as being unattractive or strong lack of social skills. And no, the name is reference to the character 'Oz' in the cult classic film 'American Pie', he hilariously tries to pull the cheesy line on a girl in his car, to which she bursts out laughing. Its a well known reference in my generation.

So sex equals happiness? Wow...that's news to me. I guess that means every asexual or celibate out there is unable to grasp the whole concept of being happy. I think you're being a bit presumptuous telling people they are unattractive or have bad social skills if they don't have sex by their twenties. Also, just because you /can/ do something doesn't mean you /have/ to do it. Let people make their own choices and decisions.

I lost mine later than most people my generation. Not losing it early isn't a bad thing.

@18 I never said sex is the key to happiness, it certainly helps though. Asexual people never get the urges or wet dreams or drive, so I guess they literally don't know what they're missing. As for celibate people, I think celibacy is utter stupidity and there is no logical or rational reason for it, and considering they DO have libido and wet dreams, etc, they would be repressed and unhappy. Why do you think so many priests have abused children? They've been taught to be repressed their whole life, and eventually it backfires and manifests itself in deviant behavior. And yes it is a bit presumptuous, but everyone in my generation thinks like that instinctively, its the human condition. Its like when people see someone a bit overweight and they think they're piggy for eating too much, when in reality this person has only been shaped by their environment, and could be stressed or in a difficult position. Its just a 'choice' that I view as stupid because is their real reason to do it. Some people do it for religion and I think thats a joke too. Its not that I dont think people shouldnt be able to do what they want, but I think if someone is actively prudish then they are simple minded, because they are either doing it for religion or for.. I dont even know, whats the point of doing it??

Reading #16s comment really made me crave some tea, yeah I'm gonna go put some on!

Not everyone in your generation thinks like that. Sometimes there's good reason for being the way they are, and we've got no reason to tell them they will never understand happiness, or that they are pigs for being overweight. Personally, I think sex is just as important as you make it. I want to wait until marriage, other people might not. It doesn't mean Ill be happy, but it doesn't mean I won't be. Sex does not equal happiness, I can be just as happy as a virgin than any person who sleeps around.

Since you were six when American Pie came out I wouldn't exactly call it well known among your generation. As for the rest, well, no comment.

#24- Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's stupid. And religion is a joke just because you say so? Ok, lol.

'Toy Story' might be a better example as a classic film amongst your generation.. The rest, your argument about religion, sex and happiness shows how naive you are.

@36 Your claim about me being naive is completely subjective. Please explain how what I said about religion would make me seem 'naive'?

@24 I haven't had sex yet and I'm perfectly happy with it. Just because you're unhappy unless you have your dick in some whore's vagina, that doesn't mean everyone is the same way. Have fun with your potential STDs in the near future. At least you were living life to the fullest.

@41 I dont have sex with 'whores', and I dont think you should be calling any girl that because they're sexually active, considering that most of them are. And I've got none, except HPV, which according to studies 4 out of 5 people get at some point in their lifetime, as is virtually a normal part of life after you become sexually active, so I've got nothing to worry about. You might not get hit by a car or robbed if you stay in your house, but until you go out that door you can't live. To enjoy life you've got to go and put your self out there. Yeah, some times bad things happen out of the blue to good people, but thats just life. The aim should not to arrive in your grave with the most well preserved body that you can, but to be thoroughly used up, singed and worn out, and exclaiming "Wow, what a ride!".

24, you're saying that if people don't believe in what you believe, they're stupid. That's very close-minded. Just because you're happy doing things your way doesn't mean other people aren't having awesome lives doing it different ways. I do everything you said above, drink tea, etc, and I've had sex. It's not like they give you a boat and a party every weekend after you lose your virginity. And I'm really happy with my life. I'm sure if be just as happy if I'd waited, because losing your virginity doesn't change the taste of tea or how much you value certain experiences. If it does, you're putting way too much emphasis on sex in your life.

@50 The tea thing was more of a symbolism thing, sort of like how the republicans in the US have the "Tea Party", I drink tea often as well lol. Well, herbal.

#51, how come no one's ever mentioned that you look like you have a butt crack going all the way up your spine?

@55 Because they send the compliments through to my pm inbox rather than on the comment thread :P

That wasn't a compliment, but if you're proud of practically being able to shit out you're back, then go have fun with that.

For some reason, this thread made my day.

Eh why are they all ending in 5ML now? I'm so confused.. Oh and um this may be a bit radical but you could always delete the post...?

It's Fml's five year anniversary. :)

Yes. .Mom ftw. Wish I could read the post on his wall.

At least she cares enough to tell you, even if she doesn't know how old you are.