Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website....

By oconron - 6/3/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

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Miscellaneous

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

Spread the news

TMI

By numbcrumb - 18/9/2017 23:15

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

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By JuniorDetective - 7/5/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML

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By SummerJob - 6/9/2012 16:51

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

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By Ouchmybum - 3/11/2018 12:00

Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/7/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

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By bertiebeth - 2/8/2014 05:35 - Australia - Padstow

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

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By fml - 21/2/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

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By Paulshaun1 - 6/10/2016 13:38 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/ flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML

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By CA19oo - 20/3/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

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By Nate - 12/1/2012 05:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

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By PPP - 14/11/2014 03:39 - United States - Elk Grove Village

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

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By likeyourboss - 4/10/2013 16:05 - Denmark

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

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By habsgurl0622 - 8/10/2012 18:57 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/8/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2020 23:01

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

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By just a joke - 8/6/2020 20:08

He has issues

Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML

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By spanishteach - 7/5/2009 14:50 - United States

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

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By Anon - 12/2/2012 03:01 - United States

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

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By Karin - 13/8/2011 20:29 - Germany

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/6/2017 11:08

Today, I accidentally covfefe

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2012 18:29 - United States - Monson

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

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By charliemann_ - 12/9/2011 14:28 - United States

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

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By 23yearoldtoddler - 18/5/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I took my road test. I'd never had driver's training and my mom taught me how to drive. I failed the test so badly, and when I got home my mom admitted to having taught me how to drive completely wrong because she didn't want me to get my license as she thinks I'm too young. I'm 18. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2018 15:00

Today, after spending 12 hours desperately searching everywhere I could think of, I'm forced to admit I left my wedding ring in the bathroom of the hotel suite we just spent our honeymoon in, on the literal other side of the planet. I am a dead man. FML

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By fatty - 21/11/2012 06:20 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

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By OrangeTree12 - 4/4/2009 06:05 - Canada

Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/10/2019 12:00

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

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By seriously - 20/4/2009 23:05 - Canada

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

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By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

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By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

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By accidentalsmartass - 6/3/2017 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

He deserved it. Snapping ain't cool unless you're a turtle.

Today, I learned that I may have caused a public speaker and author to be fired, because my response to his "open chat" question flustered him, causing him to lose his cool and snap at me. FML

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By bthms - 31/1/2010 14:46 - France

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

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By continuouslyaddingdebt - 14/1/2017 22:00

Today, in an attempt to keep my valuables safe, I snatched my PlayStation 4 controller from the hands of my 4-year-old nephew. Not knowing that it was connected, I ultimately yanked the PlayStation and the HD Flatscreen flat on their faces. FML

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By shuahwan - 9/8/2015 05:46 - New Zealand

Today, to settle a bet with a friend, I took an online IQ test twice. The first time, I chose answers at random without reading the questions. The second time, I took it for real. I got a higher score from the random selections than from my serious attempt. FML

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By stinky breath - 15/7/2014 21:24 - United States - Whittier

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

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By dammit hearing aid - 10/7/2014 22:17 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

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By fr1day - 21/1/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

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By bertthelamb - 17/2/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

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By hatemyjob - 23/6/2011 18:13 - United States

Today, I discovered that even though I now have a key to get into the office, I don't know the code to shut off the alarm system. I showed up early. FML

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Top comments

By McZeal | 0

#18101 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:17

Hillary Clinton does have a couple of manly features

By elianne | 0

#18111 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:26

Haha! I got Hillary Clinton too! My 20 year old brother got Mischa Barton and Natalie Portman

COMMENTS

By shangy_fml | 0

#18089 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:10

Well, you're just 16. You're bound to not look as masculine now as you will in the future.

pwner64 | 0

#1077264 - Saturday 10 July 2010 21:33

well I did that and it came up as Obama, Jesus, and Chuck Norris

By crampy | 0

#18092 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:12

Not really an FML. Just means you have similar facial structure. BFD.

By McZeal | 0

#18101 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:17

Hillary Clinton does have a couple of manly features

By elianne | 0

#18111 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:26

Haha! I got Hillary Clinton too! My 20 year old brother got Mischa Barton and Natalie Portman

By interventions | 1

#18112 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:26

that site is messed up. if you put a picture of yourself wearing glasses it just picks a bunch of people wearing glasses. lol.

By King_of_Kings_2 | 0

#18123 - Friday 6 March 2009 16:38

i've done that before. except it was a musician match my friend did on his computer. i got matched with Jimmy Page, Jim Morrison, and Jimi Hendrix. and my real name is James.