Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
cjwayy 22
Why would you paint your nails in your car? What if you had spilled?
DippinGrizzly907 27
Well that sure makes for a sticky situation. Doesn't it bug you whenever you mess up your nail polish?
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Comments (120)
JBrownie123 24
You best not have been driving.
ManicGypsy 22
OP, we need follow up. Please tell us all that you weren't driving when you were painting your nails. Feel the wrath of FML if you were driving though.
celinadepp 21
I hope you weren't driving, but YDI still.
bitchthankyou 4
"where did you get your nails done?" " Interstate 80".
magda1cycu 2
As someone who just got hit by a distracted driver I find it VERY offensive that you think it's ok to do shit like this!!!! BITCH
r8_fml 6
how do you know she was driving you hoe
Maahnn 5
Are we talking flies and gnats or like wasps, hornets, and spiders?
AloysiusWeasley 15
You deserved it for being a stupid coont that puts other people's lives in danger over some BS polly prissy pants shiat. I hope you meet up with a concrete bridge abutment next.
lc1989 10
Yea you completely deserved that. Have you ever heard of common sense? Pay attention to your driving instead of your nails.
squideth 18
Are you seriously assuming that OP was DRIVING and painting her nails at the same time???? You know what's a MUCH more logical assumption? That she's the passenger and someone else is driving! Wow amazing.
hopingforluck 10
I think OP isnt driving her car -_-
amisenho 11
Glitter's too mainstream, anyway.
rebekahdolmat 5
Why would you even do that? You were clearly asking for something to happen.