Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML
Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML
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Top comments
Endo22 0
FYDL **** your dads life. Honestly you're mad about one day, that guy lives the shit 24/7. (no pun intended)
CBR77 0
Same shit, different day. xD
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Comments (79)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Well, I guess the OP knows... (puts shades on) ...all that remains. (YEEAAAAHHHHH!!)
pu13 5
you sir deserve an applause *gentle clapping* mm yes...
matineesuxxx 1
was mine parasite free?
thinmint 0
yeah and he makes shit-loads of money doing that. someone's gotta do it!
femmeixifatality 0
Pun intended?
TheLoneWolf87 4
some WERE diarrhea, OP.
anilorak622 8
no, OP is correct. "was" refers to the word "some". while "some" implies plural, the word itself is singular. like "everyone". "is everyone here?" not "are everyone here?" not trying to start anything or sound obnoxious..
kitties_fml 12
It's amazing how some people are so inept at putting together a simple three sentences to relay a story... that is, this FML is horribly worded.
jerryj 27
You're the only one who didn't get it.
Neon_POP 0
Should have gone with your mom. Still that sucks. Is your dad a scientist or something?
fmliliveinmichig 0
being a microbiologist isn't that horrible
elparto 0
Actually I bet that job pays a mid range 6 figures.
MagneticGuitar 0
He is in a Medical occupation. Not a crappy pay.
bad_choice 0
And you are bitching about your dad's job. It was him examining those ***** everyday to pay for your food, your education, and such. Be thankful, brat.