By cjw - 06/03/2013 00:07 - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 544
You deserved it 4 305
Kids
Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

SApprentice 34

Buy a can of spray paint and spray over it. It'll look like hell, but you're going to have to get it fixed anyway, and I doubt you'll be able to make it very far with it the way it is. Oh, and go to the cops if you can. Paint jobs are expensive, and you don't need to deal with that kind of crap.

368 5
Reply Report
Subtext 10
Send a private message

Just spray paint her address and contact information under the "Free Candy" :)

288 2
Reply Report
Next

Comments

karlcolt45 19
Send a private message

well played crazy person. you-1 me-0

49 99
Reply Report
CareFace 16
Send a private message

That's not well played... That's punching under the belt!!

50 10
Reply Report
row74 7

Nice I don't know why this is getting disliked

16 41
Reply Report
TeamKelly 10

Troll ex-girlfriend strikes again!

13 3
Reply Report
SApprentice 34

Buy a can of spray paint and spray over it. It'll look like hell, but you're going to have to get it fixed anyway, and I doubt you'll be able to make it very far with it the way it is. Oh, and go to the cops if you can. Paint jobs are expensive, and you don't need to deal with that kind of crap.

368 5
Reply Report
SApprentice 34

Also, take photos. Lots and lots of photos as evidence. I forgot to add that. You may not be able to pursue any charges against her since these kinds of things are difficult to prove, but the photos could be useful if you need to build a case against her later.

92 0
Reply Report
dmoran20 27

Ahhhh screw that, add to it with. If you show me you tits...

0 0
Reply Report
fml121785 14
Send a private message

Or just add "with purchase of a van" under it, it may reduce your creepy factor just enough.

96 2
Reply Report
desoto96 9
Send a private message

Get it wrapped, lot cheaper than paint.

2 9
Reply Report
the_smart_way 10

Getting a car/van wrapped is pretty much sticking duct tape over a broken duct... The problem will return!

2 7
Reply Report
desoto96 9
Send a private message

84 my family has been in the wrap industry for 2 generations. I'm not going to argue wether or not wrapping is better than painting, but I will say your comment was extremely ignorant. I suggested he get it wrapped because its faster and cheaper than a legitimate paint job, and if done right can be just as nice.

9 2
Reply Report
AliceLockehart 18

Apparently putting a thick layer of Mr Muscle on it can get graffiti off. My stepdads truck got tagged & he used that, it came right off with no paint damage :)

13 1
Reply Report
shorty6823 28
Send a private message

Who pissed in her Cheerios? But really, watch her. You never know what could happen with the crazy ones.

138 5
Reply Report
CharresBarkrey 15

She must've had Carnation Instant Bitch for breakfast.

58 2
Reply Report
shorty6823 28
Send a private message

I had a psycho ex, so I understand. He was a different type of psycho, but still, been there, done that.

10 2
Reply Report
Epikouros 31

I love your profile pic, #52 :)

10 3
Reply Report
shorty6823 28
Send a private message

Thanks! He's not very cuddly, so it was kinda a surprise when he cuddled me. Kodak Moment.

8 0
Reply Report
Subtext 10
Send a private message

Just spray paint her address and contact information under the "Free Candy" :)

288 2
Reply Report
sublimaze 6
Send a private message

Better yet, mark out "candy" and write "BJs" and your ex's phone number. If your daughter asks what BJs means, tell her Blue Jeans or whatever.

23 1
Reply Report
tuxedoandex 28
Send a private message

Even better, spray paint "Free Blowjobs" on all of her clothes and on her face.

0 0
Reply Report
delta873 5

you could just sue her...but you would need evidence.

6 26
Reply Report
Imhere4fml 24

What part of the fml isn't evidence?

1 5
Reply Report
lunaforever21 14

well you cant bring a story to the cops without evidence that she did in fact spray paint his van. he needs actual proof

0 0
Reply Report
woainishamu 21
Send a private message

Well isn't she sweet?

69 8
Reply Report
HaneenDixon 16
Send a private message

Yes, she's a keeper. The police should keep her away!

14 3
Reply Report
ironichalibut 24
Send a private message

You'd better actually carry some free candy on hand, a large herd of children can be deadly in a feeding frenzy.

142 1
Reply Report
sjdbeinska 4
Send a private message

but what if a parent calls the cops because he'd look like a pedophile

7 7
Reply Report
ironichalibut 24
Send a private message

But what if someone had to call an ambulance because children disemboweled OP thinking he had candy? Yeah? What then?

73 2
Reply Report
oj101 33

This reminds me of the Child Catcher from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Did she also happen to give you a prosethic nose and a black overcoat with a flower hat and a net?

35 4
Reply Report
cynide 13

NOO!! I'm 17 and still afraid of that fucking bitch.

6 1
Reply Report
jem970 19

One of the best movies ever! But the child catcher... oh god I wanted to watch him fall off a cliff and die horribly. He gave me more nightmares than clowns do now.

1 1
Reply Report
xgetxbentx 13
Send a private message

So much win! That is what my mom threatened me with as a child lmfao!

0 0
Reply Report
lishajoy777 14

I dont condone being a snitch but report that bitch. Thats fucked up!

15 40
Reply Report
dontpanic_fml 32

For real? You consider reporting a crime committed against oneself as being a snitch? Really?!

37 0
Reply Report
enormouselephant 15

"Yeah man, he came up and stole all my money and my girl! Threw 'em all in his van. But you know I ain't no motherfucking snitch!"

24 1
Reply Report
dr_snow_bear 29

I feel for you, and your life does suck, but that's pretty damn funny.

22 5
Reply Report
Next