MagneticGuitar

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

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7

58

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

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24

15

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

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8

46

Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML

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3

8

23

Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML

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10