Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML
Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML
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Top comments
Endo22 0
FYDL **** your dads life. Honestly you're mad about one day, that guy lives the shit 24/7. (no pun intended)
CBR77 0
Same shit, different day. xD
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Comments (79)
foxyshadis 0
You sound lazy. Now you know what to look forward to next time you don't hustle.
Jamberty 0
I created this account to tell you to stop whining! Parasite analysis is funky, I do it for animal feces. It's clean work if you wear gloves, odorless if you use a fume hood, and you get to see pretty darn cool stuff under the microscope. I bet he gets the fecal samples in clean little bottles anyway, no contact unless you smear the samples on your face on purpose. Other people working in healthcare have it much, much worse. I can't believe you are disgusted with your father's career, which is interesting and probably earns your family a decent amount of money.
ivyshade 0
wow
granthm 0
ur dad probably knows a lot of shit
pencilsupmynose 0
eww. gross... but cool.
lizz2395 0
your dad has a real "shitty" job lol
kei1108 13
You're an awesome daughter. :) congrats on not being rude and spending quality time with him. I am sure it meant a lot to him that you showed at least some interest in his work. :)
SaharaZinc 14
Holy shit.
Annihilator257 15
Agreed FYDL he has to do a crappy job (no pun intended) to keep you fed and have a roof over your head. Get over it