Miscellaneous: Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the...

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 349

You deserved it 3 520

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 574

You deserved it 6 326

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 553

You deserved it 3 740

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 866

You deserved it 2 843

By jkin47 - 04/08/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 665

You deserved it 4 038

By campus pussy - 22/03/2014 21:08 - United States - Ross

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 11 432

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 809

You deserved it 2 834

Roid rage incoming

By screwed - 22/12/2010 17:56 - Canada

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 351

You deserved it 4 282

By curlyisnogood - 10/01/2011 00:19

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 219

You deserved it 3 747

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 4 333

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 143

paid2think 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 16:06

That's epic.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 20 October 2010 16:06

At-least he wasn't masturbating to it!

Comments

LilSideTwerk 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 15:42

wow. I bet he started crying when he lost 19 the next day. lol just kiddin'

mikeysayhay 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:18

HERE' A SOLUTION!!!!!!!!!! Find a new roomate...durrrrr X)

Chigagigaroo 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 12:41

Now that's what I call obsessive.

stevenmx86 7

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:52

He sounds kick ass!

K1A 3

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:19

leeeeeroooy JENKIIINNNSSS!

DrewFluIngle 10

Wednesday 22 February 2012 15:21

You girls aren't going to be stealing this man's virginity anytime soon...

CherryToothache 17

Tuesday 24 April 2012 19:18

He sounds like fun D: Here's hoping he has some respect for roommates :| Or hide his keyboard.

FarscapeSDC 9

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:30

Dress up like a barbarian and challenge him to a duel. "Celts vs. Romans" should be an interesting fight.

COLDB3AR 6

Monday 4 June 2012 14:14

I would LOVE this man, and laugh at him.

jcbinglis 7

Monday 15 October 2012 5:31

As long as he doesn't wake you up then that's pretty awesome

Keywords

Music Roommate Miscellaneous Embarrassing Singing Relatable Dogs Animals TV shows Cheating Love AITA Sports Weird Death Family Annoying Awkward Health Doctor Money Capitalism Work Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Pranks Intimacy

The Top

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. As we were in the cars behind the hearse, I lost sight of it in traffic, ended up taking a wrong turn, and getting lost… As did half the cars behind me, who also didn’t know where the crematorium was, and just kept following me. We delayed the funeral quite a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 143

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 724

You deserved it 67 809

The Top

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 824

You deserved it 3 816

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 824

You deserved it 14 377

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 697

You deserved it 6 694

Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted bicycle seat. I've been walking like John Wayne all afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 097

You deserved it 778

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 304

You deserved it 37 441

Today, so far, I’ve been called the c-word, a bitch, and a douche. All by the same person, all because I wouldn't make them coffee at 1 in the morning. We don’t serve coffee until 6 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 88

Same thing different taste

Roid rage incoming

We're all in hell

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