Miscellaneous: Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the...

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 349

You deserved it 3 520

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 574

You deserved it 6 326

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 553

You deserved it 3 740

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 866

You deserved it 2 843

By jkin47 - 04/08/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 665

You deserved it 4 038

By campus pussy - 22/03/2014 21:08 - United States - Ross

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 11 432

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 809

You deserved it 2 834

Roid rage incoming

By screwed - 22/12/2010 17:56 - Canada

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 351

You deserved it 4 282

By curlyisnogood - 10/01/2011 00:19

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 219

You deserved it 3 747

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 4 333

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 143

paid2think 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 16:06

That's epic.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 20 October 2010 16:06

At-least he wasn't masturbating to it!

Comments

InCrediFuqAmaZin 0

Friday 22 October 2010 22:31

LOSERRRRRRRR

flipcrazy 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 7:15

Some of the gladiator armor is actually pretty sick...

ChuckleNorris 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 18:21

that's great, you can have some fun screwing with this guy

triplecgreazy 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 18:40

what a badass.

TheEmi1y 0

Monday 25 October 2010 9:53

THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Seriously though, that's hilarious but awful.

cali_gurl209 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 21:20

AHAHAHHAHA wow that is so ****** hilarious! Totally sucks, but you gotta give him credit for being so enthusiastic!!

zomglol 3

Saturday 12 February 2011 2:37

Wow, that's an awesome roommate!! :D

Kcorb90 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 20:57

This guy sounds like the man. I hope I get a roommate like him

88sforlife 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 5:09

play along with it then totally **** him over .

vyktor_fml 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 19:34

I see what you did there.

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Singing Roommate Music Dogs Animals TV shows Relatable AITA Love Sports Weird Cheating Death Family Awkward Annoying Health Doctor Money Capitalism Work Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Pranks Intimacy

The Top

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 137

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 766

You deserved it 4 100

The Top

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 592

You deserved it 40 553

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 2 041

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 081

You deserved it 15 012

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 3 426

Today, my boyfriend told me I’m clearly turning into my mother. I turned round to have a go at him when I stopped, thought about it, and realised he’s completely right. I’m just like her. Now I’m so depressed, I don’t know if I want booze, a relaxing bath, or a really long, ugly crying session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 447

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 054

You deserved it 55 624

Same thing different taste

Roid rage incoming

We're all in hell

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