Health and Miscellaneous: Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted...

By anon - 07/02/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted bicycle seat. I've been walking like John Wayne all afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 097

You deserved it 779

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Same thing different taste

BIKES

By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 874

You deserved it 43 974

Freakout!

By beer guy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 538

You deserved it 2 567

By Anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 684

You deserved it 3 984

By myheadhurts - 12/11/2013 02:14 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 115

You deserved it 3 133

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 188

You deserved it 40 319

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 301

You deserved it 4 926

Breaking the law (and bones)

By Carl - 18/09/2022 20:30

Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 78

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 530

You deserved it 3 025

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 219

Everybody needs good neighbours

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I got t-boned while on my way represent myself in a deposition for a lawsuit I filed against my neighbor. The other driver was my neighbor's husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 81

RodzillaX 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:32

Did your bike at least kiss you first?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 2:04

That's nuts!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 2:04

That's nuts!

RodzillaX 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:32

Did your bike at least kiss you first?

tomvertigo 17

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:55

I just didn't realize John Wayne walked like that... #birdcagequotes

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 7 February 2017 5:46

Well I guess you don't like anal then.

Cali 54

Tuesday 7 February 2017 12:30

At least not on the receiving end...

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 15:37

If he did, he wouldn't bother with a seat.

Cali 54

Wednesday 8 February 2017 10:53

Get there and "get there". Kill two birds with one stone!

trucker2 33

Tuesday 7 February 2017 6:42

Instead of telling them your bum hurts just tell them your thighs are chafed

species4872 19

Tuesday 7 February 2017 17:34

For all you people who doesn't know who John Wayne was he was a mostly western film actor from the 1950's 60's

tomvertigo 17

Wednesday 8 February 2017 21:00

Thank you, Mr. IMDB.

Keywords

Health Ironic Dentist Coworkers Work Annoying Miscellaneous Relatable Grandparents Awkward Love Food Animals Insects Public freakouts Fear Family Bullying Suspicious Relationship advice Embarrassing Neighbours Anniversary AITA Gamers Allergies Vegan Cooking Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, I quit dating forever. I’m an overweight girl with glasses. I attempted to put flattering selfies on dating profiles, but the guys run from me or ghost me when I meet them in person. I took a friend’s advice and put honest, full body pics of myself. I got zero messages. None. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 286

Today, I was practicing yoga at home when I heard a loud crash. My cat had managed to knock over a bookshelf while attempting to catch a fly. In my rush to save my books and knick-knacks, I tripped over my yoga mat and fell into the mess. My cat got the fly though, so that's something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 93

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 376

You deserved it 3 422

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I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 417

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I agree, your life sucks 3 682

You deserved it 306

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 617

You deserved it 7 521

Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 217

Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 188

Same thing different taste

BIKES

Freakout!

Sorry!

Breaking the law (and bones)

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

Everybody needs good neighbours

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