Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
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Top comments
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
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Comments (211)
triggerit 5
what's going on with sizes of American' dicks? Woman are you happy?!
remy3106 10
no!!
Ludii_fml 0
99 Stfu you're 14.
zombiekitten87 12
ydi for not getting laid often enough that your condoms actually expire.
5t3ff1k4h 47
YDI for being unable to take a joke. Geez.
purple_tiger 0
So which is it op?
Ludii_fml 0
My iPod doesn't do that to me :0 I'd throw it against a wall..
RawrBunneh 0
he just asked?! don't get so mad! your dick is tiny face the facts!
patiencek 0
Haha that's hilarious!
oldenuff2party 3
haha well I think he would kno. penis size is hereditary. right ?
SekksiFML6969 0
op just chill your pops sounds cool, he just has a good sense of humor.
BadLuckTuck 0
Dude, that sounds like something MY dad would say, and I'm a lesbian. Just laugh it off and say you're so small you use a strap-on anyways.
RedPillSucks 33
LOL That's the funniest thing I've heard since my lesbian friend said "well if you don't like it, suck my dick!".