Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
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Top comments
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
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Comments (211)
nikkired 0
Just how close are you and daddy ? Sounds sick too me. Your condom expired,who used it last you or Dad ,thats who should buy the new one.
Cinn_fml 23
Technically if it expired neither one of them should have used it. :P
TheBestManEver 0
38: >Implying condoms can be used by several people. I lol'd.
hottie2hottie 0
hehe (: that's embarrasing
polopony 0
Wait - they're meant to be disposable?! That should be spelled out more clearly on the package
bentleyGCspeed 0
I love your beanie
daffyduckdd 2
cuz that's what we were all looking at the Beanie
mstaerk7 0
199- funny cause it's actually a toque.
giantpinksextoy 0
HI-OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! lol :p
bayonet 0
wow 38.. you're gorgeous
SOTYsNumber1Fan 0
yeah but the steelers... they are just bad..
ILoveMonkies 5
Or her rack? Get out , meet real people . U can do it
JasonEP 3
38, are you really that stupid? Or was it just a failed attempt at a joke?
raymanbrint 0
I dunno where you are from or what brand you are talking about but there are no such sizes.
sallen0046 4
You've obviously never purchased condoms. You might not find them all at your local convince or drugs store but they range from extra small to extra large. Did you honestly think every penis in the world would fit appropriately enough to be effective in 'regular' condoms?
deebo77 0
this is a lie.
epistaxisdigitor_fml 0
penis size is hereditary.... ur dad should know that! quick thinking dad, but you shoulda come back with that! FYL for being too cheap to buy your own xtra small condoms
dedanjel 33
Dad might be asking because of what he's packing, since genes do play a role in the size of a man's instrument. So, he may need small conditions, and thinks that since his son isn't completely done growing, his manhood might need a little less condom.
KylAisAmazingG 0
it was most likely SARCASAM!!
Cinn_fml 23
*brain explodes from overuse of sarcasm* :P
lickmyjock 0
58 is cute :-)
TheBestManEver 0
YDI for having a close sexual relationship with your father.
Efilyn 0
LOL. Well be glad you can even talk to him about stuff like that. Some guys don't even try. xD