Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
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Top comments
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
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Comments (211)
BigSchlong 4
You said you two have a close relationship, was probably joking.
cptn_chronic 4
you walked direct into that one.
CrazyLaughs4Me 17
YDI for having such a small penis. Don't get mad at your dad for him being so honest.
KJxFTW 6
your dad sounds awesome :D
Brightblue2 14
Well you are asking your dad to buy condoms for you. If you are having sex, you should be able to afford to have safe sex by yourself without having daddy to buy them for you.
charityrose3 13
So? Which one is it?
TheRealStunts 27
Man, dont be so bummed out, sounds more like he was joking or maybe as someone else mentioned he might think his small dick got passed genetically to you too ?
hopsternak 13
this would only really be an fml if you had to choose to go with option b