Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
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Top comments
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
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Comments (211)
xXxbiancaxXx 0
so what'll it b... small or extra small op?! xD
joemk2012 0
He knows what size to get because its hereditary
XYZzzzzzzz 0
so what
amanduhmor87 2
If you are old enough to have sex then you are old enough to buy your own condoms... Meaning this situation would have been avoided.
LTHoratioCaine 4
Genetics. Mother and father both had small ones (roflcopter)
Azrael489 0
Sounds like you got burned by your dad and instead of taking it like a man you got your panties all in a wad. You should've told him "small, I didn't get ALL your genes (thank God)". And why the hell aren't you buying your own condoms? Even if your dad is like one of your buddies, I assume you don't go condom shopping with your buddies? YDI hard.
califormula 0
He's just busting your balls. Your small, tiny balls.
NovaMarie 0
Your dad is awesome for maintaining such a close relationship with you, and a complete jerkass for that comment! Hilarious jerkass though. I almost peed myself laughing. You should have said something along the lines of "Hey, now, you're only responsible for half of my genetic material - thankfully, not that half!" Seriously, one internet high-five for your dad here.
bellapuellae 0
ouch...i'm sorry although that is a pretty funny FML
abasio 1
He knows that it's hereditary.