Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
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Top comments
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
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Comments (211)
TibbysMusic 1
59, probably spell check on the stupid iPod. Even I get to lazy to fix it :P
xSara_fml 0
I suppose you two indeed have a close relationship!
monkeykiller77 0
sure he wasn't joking dads do dat
Bootle 10
"Oh boo hoo, someone made a joke about my penis size. FML" Well, you clearly have insecurities about it if it bothers you that much. And I have to agree, why can't you buy your own condoms? If your dad is gonna buy them for you, he's allowed to make a joke or two. I would.
Ludii_fml 0
ahhhhgreed.
sallen0046 4
So what? You wouldn't expect him to buy clothes or shoes for you without checking the appropriate size. If you're old enough to be having sex, you're certainly old enough to go buy your own condoms.
omegaxen 0
you really shouldn't let condoms get that old, they start losing effectiveness a lot sooner than the expiration date, you gotta use them within a few months of your purchase
russianspy1234 11
It's called a sense of humor. See if you can find one on the internet to download.
mattm211 0
why bother? you obviously haven't had sex in a while. condoms don't expire for like 10 years.
jnjones04 0
38 is gorgeous
MY_LEFT_NUT 0
wow there are some FML addicts.