Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (211)
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
cumberbunny 17
Young enough to be living with his dad, maybe he shouldn't be.
dedanjel 33
Or OP's dad knows the guy is gonna have sex no matter what he's told and has decided to make sure his baby isn't having babies just yet. I've met parents who realize nothing they do will prevent their teens from screwing, so they make sure they have protection available. Teens will be teens, after all.
fistnazal 10
fleshlite?
Rodrim 0
hahaha love this. what I'd really like to know is your reponse.
molil_4810 0
I like turtles
GerardoMx 0
you like butt f***ing turtles haha
hackymeal 0
Turtle habit wanna be :p
JustHereBecause 0
op can't help if it if he's... small. XD
ilovejeland 0
lmaoo.. good onee :D
Mirorbo 27
He's asking based on what he knows.
Blackiechan85 0
clearly he was teasing you. this isn't an FML. unless, you really are slacking with your lower baggage lol.
hellokeroppi 5
x- small
papaguna 0
guys with small dicks: get over it