Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
OK, I know views on abstinence before marriage varies, but to my mind, YDI huge. If neither of you were virgins, and you were planning on getting married, the idea that you wouldn't have sex just strikes me as bizarre, with this being one of the main reasons. It's going to be a long fifty years.
sam1984_fml 0
*you're welcome (you're welcome! :D)
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Comments (134)
13bjohnson3 0
he wouldn't be sayin that bout me
austen130 0
I wouldn't have sex with him for a while after that. Asshole
braidedsilver 8
Ouch OP that must have been crushing for you. Shame on him for not expressing what he wanted DURING the act, then it could have been memorable for good reasons. However, although he was brutally honest you should appreciate that honesty. That way you can BOTH work at making next time incredible. Don't let him off the hook, he needs to work at it too.
raz1151 3
why would you buy a car before test driving it? lesson learned
MistyLazuli 0
Honey, there is NOTHING wonderful about a man that can say that to you, ESPECIALLY on ur wedding night! Try to get an annulment - otherwise, practise makes perfect! If u both care about pleasing the other it'll come to u. Also he a dumb idiot coz girls need confidence to be good in bed!
jcole1997 0
#207 She sucks in bed, nuff said. And if you tell a girl she is great when it is possibly one of the worst situations you have ever had, you are lying and making her think she has some talent. This girl has no sexual prowess. That is all.
Drackolee 0
can you say "annullment"
dakins 0
so much for mister wonderful...
jewelsfml 0
what a dick. hope ur not still w him. fyl
raaacheel 4
omg im so sorryyy :/
pinghopper9 0
Thats not what his brother said... ;)