mary
Australia
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Heyme
France
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
heeeeeyitsbrittney
Butterfingers
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Jaws
France
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
oops
My chocolate
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
TaintedL0v3
London, United Kingdom
Heavy session last night?
Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
kp.
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Gotta have it
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Top comments
FiasCudi 0
how did you manage that?
CrimsonViolets 11
"chocolate rain"... ow ****!
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Comments (323)
astralvagan 20
Next time, try to unwrap it before you get a paper cut from the wrapper!
tanneriscool 2
It wasn't a paper cut. It was a chocolate cut.. Did you read the whole Fml?
astralvagan 20
Yes I did..... I guess I should have spelled it out more instead of implying the wrapper cut him.....
cBlackout 13
Excuses excuses...
Pelreskovich 11
Same.. Last night I let the chocolate get the best of me.
BadKarma11B_fml 0
Omg, yes!
MissMae93 23
I'm actually somewhat impressed. Good job... I think?
hihihihey 2
I agree
dr_tired13 4
Maybe itll happen to us someday who knows
immaMonsta 8
Haha, well I'm sure I've heard it all now. How in the world did you manage to cut yourself on chocolate?
rekege 18
That's actually kind of impressive.
Pelreskovich 11
Your hair is impressive.
guppyfishlette 1
That's takes a ninja skill level of 39! How the ****?
mckibben 7
Her*
Guy247bp2 1
Not sure if Monty Python reference, or just trolling...
laden_swallow09 34
If OP could summon a confectionary demon from the firey pits of Hell that has chocolate-edged blades for hands, MAYbe 94 could pull it off…
ArmyxRngr 0
Fake and gay.
jaredofmo 22
Sweet!
reba_rch 7
I cut myself on bread...
SoDamnAwesome 0
How?
whyusofat 17
Must have been some very stale bread good sir.
reba_rch 7
I wish it was stale bread, but alas it was freshly cooked bread...
ouchie1013 0
F.A.K.E.