Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML
Today, my mom came over for dinner. She lost her mind, screaming and yelling, because my oven melted the dollar store cooking dish that she insisted on using. Never mind the fact I’m going to have to pay a couple hundred, if not a thousand dollars for a new stove. Oh no, she’s out a whole buck. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
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Top comments
badgrandpa 9
pretend to fall asleep and then act like you got possessed
eternal_malaise 10
Give her a list of your favorite baked foods that are known to repel demons.
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Comments (105)
lvg_fml 10
She needs to see a psychiatrist
cryssycakesx3 23
like you said, too much is missing, especially to make that big of a leap.
1947Chevy 17
Hey don't think for a moment those ovens are innocent. Those things are evil
jh921971 10
It was the Janitor. And he would have got away with it if it wasn't for you kids!
fivetimeslonger 24
Hey, demonic appliances are real, man. My fridge had to be exorcised.
Space_Teddy 29
if tuis happens a lot you should take her to a psychiatrist
badluckalex 23
I am terrified of any paranormal activity **** that
pdp_fml 21
Everyone seems to think that "mom" has problems. My answer is going to get a thumbs down, but imagine that the movie known as "The Exorcist" has a basis in fact, which is why the Catholic Church has a whole division of priests that are trained in exorcism. Many Protestant denominations also have pastors that perform exorcisms.
Epikouros 32
If OP's a minor, "taking your mom to see a psychiatrist" may not work. But Child Protection Services or whatever it's called will have the power to force her to seek treatment. Just my 2 cents, not claiming OP won't have thought of treatment options. FML is a place to vent, even about people you care about.
monagro 22
Did she leave the gas on?