Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, I got a tattoo. My mom got upset and threw a bitch fit about how my body "is a temple and it belongs to God.” I told her, “My body, my choice.” She responded with, “Oh really? Well, my house, my choice who lives here. Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” I’m currently in my car with nowhere to go. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML
Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
Today, my fanatical Christian stepfather told me that my genetic illness is a result of demon possession, and that I'd be cured if I allow his church to perform a "healing prayer demon expulsion" on me. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
Contact a fly by night place that will throw some holy water on you and have them send your mom the bill. Then present it to her along with a restraining order.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
If that Lucifer is the one portrayed by Tom Ellis, it's totally okay!!!
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Comments (3)
Thaylok 17
Contact a fly by night place that will throw some holy water on you and have them send your mom the bill. Then present it to her along with a restraining order.
RichardPencil 32
You have tattoos and piercings AND a career. Tattoos and piercings make most people unemployable for most careers. Someone must have made a deal with the Devil. Tell your mom if you get an exorcism, you'll likely end up sponging off of her.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
If that Lucifer is the one portrayed by Tom Ellis, it's totally okay!!!