By Anonymous - Canada - Brantford

Thanks dad

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
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  BlueRainDude  |  11

Every abusive household starts that way. First it's the microwave. Then one day the stove is gone. Next the toaster is found smashed to bits in the front lawn. Oh the machines that have suffered.

By  DocBastard  |  38

Dad: And fuck you, toaster, for getting crumbs all over my counter! Fuck you!
Girlfriend: Uh...
Dad: Stove, you overcooked my eggs, you bastard!
Girlfriend: I'm outta here.