Miscellaneous: Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because...

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/02/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 553

You deserved it 4 833

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 219

You deserved it 1 474

Chill out, Mom

By poor girl - 27/06/2020 05:03

Today, my mom came over for dinner. She lost her mind, screaming and yelling, because my oven melted the dollar store cooking dish that she insisted on using. Never mind the fact I’m going to have to pay a couple hundred, if not a thousand dollars for a new stove. Oh no, she’s out a whole buck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 126

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 872

You deserved it 3 323

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 124

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 682

You deserved it 6 200

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 117

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 124

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 981

You deserved it 7 608

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 04:39 - United States - Madison

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 728

You deserved it 2 429

Fire hazard

By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 570

You deserved it 4 129

badgrandpa 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:16

pretend to fall asleep and then act like you got possessed

eternal_malaise 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:25

Give her a list of your favorite baked foods that are known to repel demons.

Comments

a4s 8

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:31

I can hear it too

random_cashmere 25

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:40

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emilycardona7 18

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:40

Well, she seems nice.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:42

maybe if you cook them...

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:42

It could be...still that's a bit extereme...she should see a tharapist...

karlcolt45 19

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:43

YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND SAY THAT THINGS THAT HEAT UP ON THEIR OWN AREN'T DEMONIC

PurelyCanadian 18

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:43

Sounds like a hot topic. See what I did there? Good. Now can you explain it to me?

itsjusttofunny 8

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:45

one word: schizophrenia

itsjusttofunny 8

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:48

not everything has to do with a man beating his wife.... geez

Cynical_1 26

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:52

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IloveRelientK 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:58

THANK YOU! I was just about to say the sane thing! wtf is wrong with people these days?! i would NEVER call either of my parents anything disrespectful! i couldnt believe what id read.

greeneyebeauty9 28

Sunday 16 February 2014 4:10

Oh, like you've never called your mom something behind her back..

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 5:21

calling the op an asshat then telling him to show some respect...uh yeah

Crofty92 17

Sunday 16 February 2014 8:47

Respect is earned, not given unconditionally.

Cynical_1 26

Monday 17 February 2014 5:57

Uhm no...she's his mom! She sounds like she is mentally unstable and needs help...but that doesn't give him the right to call her an idiot. She gave birth to him and raised him and she deserves his respect. Dissing his own mom like that makes him an asshat in my book...right along with everyone who defends him.