Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
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Top comments
bobdole 0
are you a guy or a girl? it would be funnier if you were a guy.
Capybara 0
Like father like son, sadly. If this is true, your family has some serious issues.
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Comments (87)
mindcontrolify 0
I wouldn't be suprised if my father said that about me too. I hate him, he hates me. Isn't that great? ._.
rOBboCOp 0
thats sad but then again cute at the same time :P
thefmlinator 10
if you're a girl HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. if you're a guy soz bro
erectoralcollage 0
your family must live in a trailer
erectoralcollage 0
your family must live in a trailer
Bloodywolf20 9
And i bet your a spoiled dick that thanks just cuz his mom has a nice car -That she got on her back- he's better then everyone Fyi Your shit smells just as bad as everyone elses
saturnsonic 3
i shouldnt laugh but thats funny...lol
EmilyFelton98 0
truuueeeee
sydmior 10
"After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me..." So he blocked his own shot? As a joke? Now why would he do that? Jokes these days... And yes, I know it's a dangling participle. I'm surprised it got passed as an FML with that mistake.
outbackbyrd 7
Hahaha that's pretty funny
GoldenMantis 4
Haters, gonna hate.