Love: Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When...

By Embarrassed - 22/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 712

You deserved it 4 325

Love

Late term

Awkward

Boozehounds

By deadbunnies - 31/07/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 878

You deserved it 9 152

Dick appointment

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 21:01 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 246

By Christinemh329 - 17/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 690

You deserved it 2 501

By RayniDae - 15/06/2016 20:08 - United States - Port Clinton

Today, we ran out of our disposal gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 324

You deserved it 1 531

By starley - 13/08/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 858

You deserved it 3 430

By pist - 13/05/2018 01:30

Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 644

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 452

You deserved it 93 687

By PntsLessWonder - 01/12/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 170

You deserved it 39 956

By Anonymous - 30/10/2015 22:22 - United States - Saint Peters

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 796

You deserved it 2 618

Damn kids!

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 13:57

Today, I found out that my 9 year-old cousin logged into my main chess account and lost 1700 points on purpose down from 2300. Which took 8 years of grinding and several national championships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 158

By BestBF - 23/04/2013 23:22 - United States - Omaha

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 204

You deserved it 8 702

By Oh - 22/03/2016 22:36 - United States - Winterville

Today, I wrote my girlfriend a song. She wrote me a 13-page letter on why we should break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 939

You deserved it 2 180

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 20:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 155

You deserved it 5 723

By j_Lauren - 28/01/2013 04:48 - United States

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 518

You deserved it 3 300

By kaheera4 - 04/04/2014 22:38 - United States

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 064

You deserved it 3 974

By lilzoot - 08/02/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 477

You deserved it 41 896

By Calimero - 26/04/2019 02:00

Today, I forked over a hefty sum to stay the night in a beautiful, luxurious hotel room, because back home I have a baby that doesn't sleep through the night yet. Never would I have imagined I would be staying directly next to the town nightclub. I'm still awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 1 168

By kiwi2323 - 26/09/2012 01:48 - United States

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 321

You deserved it 3 330

By pampa31 - 14/12/2015 17:21 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, while I was driving, there was a high speed car chase. The runaway managed to avoid my car but the police didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 1 684

By dogmom - 16/07/2012 20:51 - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 104

You deserved it 5 729

By wow - 25/11/2010 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 874

You deserved it 4 434

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 611

You deserved it 9 243

By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 698

You deserved it 75 464

By youmothERFUCKErs - 13/08/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 087

You deserved it 2 356

The tip of the iceberg

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 07:58

Today, I didn't have enough money to tip my hairstylist, even though I thought I did and said I was, but I'm so broke, my card got declined at $50. I needed the haircut for an interview. I feel so [email protected]%$>&* bad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 220

By Monkey - 31/07/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 598

You deserved it 5 476

By Leftattheairport - 09/02/2019 18:00

Today, I went to pick up my long distance boyfriend at the airport. It has been over six months since I last saw him and four days since I last heard from him. He never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 597

You deserved it 378

TMI

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 23:52 - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 741

You deserved it 3 009

Whoops

By CheLi - 08/12/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 869

You deserved it 41 053

Good news

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 13:58

Today, I had a bit of good news with a letter that stated we were owed money by overpaying Council Tax. I phoned them, announcing myself. However, it turns out we actually owe THEM money, due to an error they made giving me and my husband a discount we weren't entitled to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 80

By shrutisoma - 12/05/2016 04:54 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 237

You deserved it 1 277

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 325

You deserved it 19 222

By social anxiety my a** - 18/03/2013 14:17 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 4 184

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 070

By Anonymous - 25/10/2010 16:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 989

You deserved it 4 475

Herman Cain Award incoming

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 17:01

Today, my coworker has Covid symptoms but refuses to get tested. I told her she should get tested but she refused. I told our boss she has symptoms, so then he told her to get tested and now she’s giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 275

I've just got one of those faces

By Eric Rivera - 29/01/2021 23:01 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 100

By purrfect :/ - 07/07/2016 22:34

Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 357

You deserved it 1 056

By harshdoobie - 18/01/2012 15:18 - Canada

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 083

You deserved it 3 323

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 06:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 181

You deserved it 2 356

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Top comments

chanelvander 7

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:07

Oh my. She should make for a very nice in-law if you two get married!

Queensland 27

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:08

Maybe she thought he was pointing at the dog? :P Nah seriously though wow, this shows immaturity exists no matter what age.

chanelvander 7

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:07

Oh my. She should make for a very nice in-law if you two get married!

Damian95 16

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Thursday 22 August 2013 17:03

He shouldve pointed back at her and acted out " bitch slap"

Shy_Anne 10

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Friday 23 August 2013 10:19

Sounds like a nice lady

Queensland 27

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:08

Maybe she thought he was pointing at the dog? :P Nah seriously though wow, this shows immaturity exists no matter what age.

baconator666 11

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:32

Ikr the mother is a bitch IMO

ropeandneck 7

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Thursday 22 August 2013 16:06

quwack

maryaalhindi 9

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:08

Oh my that's quite awkward

britneyymorgan 4

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:10

Yep, I know how you feel.

KrazieKleo 13

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Thursday 22 August 2013 21:08

Your boyfriend's mother also called you a bitch while playing charades?? Sucks for you.

KylieMangion 22

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:11

Well now, that's a nice way to find out what your mother in-law thinks of you.

Fmeonce_shameonu 15

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Friday 23 August 2013 2:24

I like your body more than your opinion. Stay frosty

wowthatissad 9

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Friday 23 August 2013 3:57

How about you keep your blood in your brain and not in your dick

reeneebabe 10

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Sunday 25 August 2013 9:15

lol(x #65

Vitualamen 11

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:15

Don't take it to heart. If she's nasty enough to say it in a game she's not worth being concerned about.

krazayman 18

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Thursday 22 August 2013 21:44

Actually, If she's that mean in front of everyone she is likely to act that way again later. Maybe she'll get worse than before.

Siererrr 13

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:16

I think boyfriends' moms just love to hate their sons' girlfriends. I wouldn't take it too personal.

Mobyman30 9

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Thursday 22 August 2013 15:02

Aaah.... The classic (I'm assuming here) "Mom doesn't like girlfriend because mom no longer feels important" disorder..... Sucks

amberlyyyy 15

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Friday 23 August 2013 7:20

It happens to all of us!!

kenoswild 14

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:17

Next time someone points to the mother, you can say bitch? If she goes in a hissy fit, you can sit back and chuckle.

AppleJuiceBox 10

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Thursday 22 August 2013 15:50

That would just lower her to his mother's standards. OP just needs to let it roll off her back.

michelleJ11 25

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Thursday 22 August 2013 16:17

By saying that, OP would most likely prove his mothers point.

DKjazz 20

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Thursday 22 August 2013 17:19

Also, it would be a very unoriginal comeback.

Pussycat86 18

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Sunday 25 August 2013 5:28

How about motherfucker as a come back?

joawmeens 7

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:19

To be fair, your boyfriend sounds like he is horrible at charades

kaiyybee 10

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Thursday 22 August 2013 12:21

Somebody doesn't like you...

AppleJuiceBox 10

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Thursday 22 August 2013 15:51

I thought "bitch" was a term of affection.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 12

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 1 091

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 177

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