Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
oklahomaguy 0
Your landlord is probably mad because he's not hung like that pony.
Matias_Says_FML 4
Yay for the pony!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (157)
Redheadedrage 5
That's.... Awesome!
ghashlycrumbs 8
And? Become a strange hobo lady with a pony. Ride it everywhere and insist on taking it in the grocery store with you. It'd be fantastic.
dannnngthatsux 19
"It's a service pony!!"
chick011 0
You should have rode your ass up and down your neighborhood on that pony yelling, "The British are coming, the British are coming'" Just like Paul Revere.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's in the UK. Perhaps an American invasion?
THE_A_TEEN 28
i was being Sarcastic, I woudnt let that happen to the UK, look like sarcasm doesnt work in the internet
seeb49 7
Yep. To warn the British, right Mrs. Palin?
seeb49 7
Oh god damn, this is in the UK. Well that joke is dead...
Klug_fml 7
Ride through the streets of your town/city informing the residents of the impending British invasion.
chick011 0
Paul Revere loves you.
zombicidal 11
it might actually be in Britain she did use the flat instead of apartment but I still like your comment
92910bg 4
That's party legend. Totally epic I envy that party
Althenias 0
for pony! thats awesome, why would you get kicked out for that?
zombicidal 11
its illegal to have horses within city limits most places even small towns like mine
zombicidal 11
put some battle armor on it and take back your castle
Retired_Panda 7
i remember my first beer
G97Alex 21
My stolen pony: drunkness is magic
atroxletum 6
My stolen pony! Drunkenness was magic to me! My stolen pony Until you all stole a pony for me! Big adventure! Tons of booze! A wonderful beer, Tasty and strong! Sharing ponies, it's an easy feat, And vodka makes it all complete! You have my stolen pony, Don't you know you were my very best friends?
candicurl 9
Looks like your landlord didn't like *puts on shades* the mane attraction. YEEEAAAHHHH
MissBunnyWillEat 11
No.
hailphire130 0
Don't worry, 45. I lol'd.