Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
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Top comments
oklahomaguy 0
Your landlord is probably mad because he's not hung like that pony.
Matias_Says_FML 4
Yay for the pony!
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Comments (157)
RaineLee 5
I love ponies. ?
kurato 6
GTP: Grand Thief Pony
leadman1989 16
They'll hang in pong court!!! Visual - ponies with powdered wigs.
creedaddict 9
Classic drunkness lol
mytello 0
Lol? Birds of the same feathers they say...
dannnngthatsux 19
Um, no. No feathers, ponies don't have feathers. Pegasi do...
wildfiresgirl 7
Lol! Sounds like your friends got some ideas from watching The Hangover. Except in this case, they discovered they couldn't steal Mike Tyson's tiger and so they decided to steal the next best thing!
atroxletum 6
Was it Fluttershy? Rarity? Oh wait, you mean real pony. Too much Internet.
harrywestt 0
Roflmao!! This is just to funny. It sucks that ur getting kicked out though, try picking better friends
Enslaved 38
****Come on.... everybody ready to sing? If you're horny, Let's do it Ride it, My Pony My saddle's waiting Come and jump on it
perdix 31
Of course the landlord wants you out -- you associate with felons. In the old West, horse-rustlin' was a capital offense, so legally speaking, your friends are roughly equivalent to Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy and Ted Bundy. Try not to hang out with scum.
Enslaved 38
What? thief and murders/rapists equivalent? Are you trying to ruffle feathers? Damn you! It's working!!!!(: