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Did you tell him you'd lose some weight in about a month when you GAVE BIRTH?

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Damn heretic. Who does he think he is?

I don't think you know what heretic means.

I would not go against the Astartes. The Emperor protects.

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK AGAINST THE CHURCH

I like what you're doing #1, but most of the FML community is nowhere near nerdy enough to get a 40k reference. It's pissing in the wind, but have a thumbs up!

@51 I don't think you know what imperial faith means! The Emperor protects.

Emperor brand condoms "The Emperor protects"

Assholes like him should not receive any service at all! I hope that restaurant have that "we have the right to refuse service to anyone" sign

That's so fucked up. Hopefully all the sodium in his soup will cause his heart to have a myocardial infarction, after he rips you of course.

Whoa I missed that after I read it twice... My bad for those inner nazis out there . Tips ** not rips .

I'm going to assume that by rips, you meant *tips

My bad, I didn't update the comments before posting that. Thanks for correcting that.

"Excuse me sir, I thought you ordered this soup WITHOUT salt."

I would hate to b a waitress

I would hate to only speak in text language.

yea why would you want to go home everyday after work with $50-$100 extra plus your hours? damn serving must suck huh? I on the other hand love it

My apologies. I did not realize that the only bit of text language was "b", and chances are, it was a typo and you meant to say "be"

Yeah sorry it was a typo, and my sister was a waitress and she hated it, that's why I said that.

Most waitresses only make about 2-5$ an hour, the tips make it minimum wage. At least that's how it is at most restaurants from what I've heard.

#40 - depends where you work. I eat out frequently. I'm a "food snob" (I only eat local, no mass chain restaurants, yadda yadda) and I respect the people who serve my food because they make the experience so much more. Not all of the places I eat are super high end, but I always tip well. A lot of the restaurants I eat at I end up tipping 20 dollars at least and upwards. a lot of my friends parents own restaurants. Me and my friends have all had our share working as waiters. The money can be good.

That is a thankless job. I would have dumped his soup down his shirt. By accident of corse ;-)

I am a waitress and even though the tips are nice the actual pay is terrible so we dont really make as much as you think. it really is a terrible job at times.

I would've spit in it

I dont think you should go that far

I would've shit in it

I laughed wayyyy more than I should've ^ haha

Top it off with some dandruff flake cheese ;P lol

Lol #72, that made me laugh and cringe at the same time.

right in front of him, with out an expression on your face at all.

or 'tripped' and spilt steamy soup all over his face.

Ugh, so rude... Ignore him, OP, and hats off to you for still working during this time! ♥

I sincerely hope that bowl of soup "accidentally" fell into his lap after such a comment.

I have the same sentiments.

So he can have his balls burned off? I agree, I hope it "accidentally" spilt somewhere, but certainly not his lap. Maybe his table. Or head.

Who am I kidding... BURN HIS BALLS!!!

I'm sorry loves, people really suck. good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and soon the bundle of joy!

Did you tell him you'd lose some weight in about a month when you GAVE BIRTH?

I've made that mistake once, she just gave birth.... I think a piece of my soul was killed the way she looked at me. I felt bad . Never again. Don't care if I'm in the delivery room, you never ask a girl if she pregnant or comment on her weight

The way to ask people if they are pregnant is to ask if they have kids. Most people will respond No or Yes then add that they are expecting.

Negative it's a trap! Men , never not ever , ask a woman if she's pregnant. Avoid any situation that could be misconstrued as she looks big or might be pregnant . Just say wow you look like a radiant angel. 8/10 times you won't go wrong. I'm kind of a dick though so I usually just moo a lot. Just playing. Vote me down if you want .

That's pretty rude to say even if she weren't pregnant.

I think that's why I said I'm kind of a dick , and just playing . Although I do moo at one of my close friends . It's a long story and it's because I love her like family .

#39, I haven't actually tried this before but most women know they're fat. If I asked one if they had kids, they may infer that I think they might be pregnant and get mad at me.

I would have snapped at him that I was pregnant and make him look like dumbass.

Agreed. Op I really hope you told him, loudly, that you would walk faster if you weren't creating a child at the same time. I'd love to see the dumb look on his face and the hate on the look of the other customers faces as they all realized what a jerk he was!