Intimacy: Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the...

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 10:50 - United States

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 498

You deserved it 9 822

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Same thing different taste

By smokecloud_ - 30/12/2013 21:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 274

You deserved it 5 352

By The Rock's arse - 04/07/2014 20:29 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 157

You deserved it 7 425

By allyshah - 20/02/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 638

You deserved it 6 370

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 497

You deserved it 15 193

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 718

By Joplin - 13/09/2010 19:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 6 223

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 474

You deserved it 763

Addicted

By oddgrrl99 - 23/07/2013 22:42 - United States - Portage

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 531

You deserved it 4 754

By fishruinsex - 08/12/2010 08:46

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 352

You deserved it 5 999

By Nomoresandwish - 29/11/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 202

You deserved it 13 444

Renesaga 8

Monday 11 October 2010 19:15

Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95

TheComputerGuy96 16

Monday 11 October 2010 19:33

Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)

Comments

KattAlex 4

Monday 11 October 2010 23:32

Turn the tv off and read a book. I recommend To Kill A Mockingbird.

jpest17 5

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:55

that book is over rated, read pillars of the earth.

mrahhhhh 21

Tuesday 12 October 2010 5:00

#63 is right, that book is nowhere near as good as it's made to seem. I recommend one of the following books and/or short story collections: The End of Eternity The Robots of Dawn Congo The Silent Assasin The Martian Chronicles A Clockwork Orange Kramer vs. Kramer

Nyc__Princess 0

Monday 11 October 2010 23:43

Then get it ! Only if it's $19.95 (:

HighlandShadows 48

Monday 4 January 2016 21:45

OP might do better to save that $19.95 for when they get around to advertising the universal remotes.

birds_fml 7

Monday 11 October 2010 23:46

I know, this may come to a shock to some people, but: YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH TV! OMG! I know! Isn't that CRAZY?! There really ARE other things to do than sit on your ass and watch tv! Read a book! Take a walk! Daydream! YDI.

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 11 October 2010 23:56

Today, I lost the remote control to my new Pos-T-Vac penis pump. It's been stuck on my crotch for an hour now. I used to be a female, but now my uterus has everted. This did, however, lead me to finding the TV remote I lost last week. FML

QwertyMcNugget 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 0:12

This gave me a giggle. XD

lancegonyeau 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 0:22

dumb fuc**** go to Wal-Mart and buy a remote

llamalpaca382 13

Tuesday 31 May 2011 3:27

**** only has one 'k', thank you.

Socks91 16

Tuesday 12 October 2010 0:33

YDI for buying a shit TV with no buttons, and a shit remote!

azzaj 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:01

Believe it or not, watching TV isn't the only thing you could be doing...

random210 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:10

she could be using that pump ;)

Slimma 20

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:21

That's dumb. Could easily just turn off the tv instead of "watching it for a whole hour." And if there isn't a button on the tv to turn it off... unplug it. Problem solved.