Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
Today, I finally finished building my own custom TV stand that would work in my small living room with brick walls. Now I can't find the remote. Anywhere. FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
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Top comments
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
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Comments (169)
KattAlex 4
Turn the tv off and read a book. I recommend To Kill A Mockingbird.
jpest17 5
that book is over rated, read pillars of the earth.
mrahhhhh 21
#63 is right, that book is nowhere near as good as it's made to seem. I recommend one of the following books and/or short story collections: The End of Eternity The Robots of Dawn Congo The Silent Assasin The Martian Chronicles A Clockwork Orange Kramer vs. Kramer
Nyc__Princess 0
Then get it ! Only if it's $19.95 (:
HighlandShadows 48
OP might do better to save that $19.95 for when they get around to advertising the universal remotes.
birds_fml 7
I know, this may come to a shock to some people, but: YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH TV! OMG! I know! Isn't that CRAZY?! There really ARE other things to do than sit on your ass and watch tv! Read a book! Take a walk! Daydream! YDI.
HomeAl0ne 20
Today, I lost the remote control to my new Pos-T-Vac penis pump. It's been stuck on my crotch for an hour now. I used to be a female, but now my uterus has everted. This did, however, lead me to finding the TV remote I lost last week. FML
QwertyMcNugget 0
This gave me a giggle. XD
lancegonyeau 0
dumb fuc**** go to Wal-Mart and buy a remote
llamalpaca382 13
**** only has one 'k', thank you.
Socks91 16
YDI for buying a shit TV with no buttons, and a shit remote!
azzaj 0
Believe it or not, watching TV isn't the only thing you could be doing...
random210 0
she could be using that pump ;)
Slimma 20
That's dumb. Could easily just turn off the tv instead of "watching it for a whole hour." And if there isn't a button on the tv to turn it off... unplug it. Problem solved.
Nikkimellon 0
Turn off the tv and get a life.