Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
Today, I finally finished building my own custom TV stand that would work in my small living room with brick walls. Now I can't find the remote. Anywhere. FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
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Top comments
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
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Comments (169)
tdruark 0
dude that sucks
jjhester 0
whyd you keep watching it? you must have had some interterest to begin with... perv
kaycoo 0
Holy shit im in love with this post i think its so funny and everyone thats saying to get a life and become active are sitting on thier asses combing fmls looking down thier noses as if thier so ******* advanced come on if you were active and had a life outside of facebook you wouldnt be preaching you would be out there riding a bike but i enjoyed reading the obama bush hardon that was funny too good times
kaycoo 0
Oh and this has nothing to do with the post but there is nothing more annoying than a facebook junky nobody gives a **** what your status is every five min
colbi1001 0
this is a long shot, but it's an infomercial so it's late at night. and the op is probably like me and can't sleep without a tv on.
kanvergs60 0
lol nice
the4starr 3
surely your TV has an OFF SWITCH on it ? or if you must, unplug it..
TheBarnacle 4
the last sentence cracked me up :D
doglady 16
But...don't you have anything else you could be doing besides watching TV?
bsager123 0
omg!!! what channel?!?!?!?!?