Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
Today, I finally finished building my own custom TV stand that would work in my small living room with brick walls. Now I can't find the remote. Anywhere. FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
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Top comments
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
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Comments (169)
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
BigBADBoY417 3
u would no baby dick... jk
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
If only Billy Mays could have been there... R.I.P. Billy Anyway Op, here's an idea, TURN IT OFF OR GTFO! that was easy. FTCB.
pcakewafflebacon 0
of course you need one. It will turn yo vag into a péñ0r
pwincessa23 1
lol WTF?? what would op use that for??? Op, go outside!! stop complaining about ur tv remote & get some phisical activity!!!
shaneac 0
Believe it or not, there are some buttons on the tv. If you press the buttons, they actually change the channel! Just like in the old times!
vivibeatles 1
shaneac....did you not read it? *i cant change the channel manually* i still think shecouldveturneditoff orwalked away..
spiderman2211 0
#48, some cable terminals don't have any buttons on them so you need the remote that came with it to control the terminal
snagglepaste 0
You've been watching the tv for an hour? think of all the sandwiches you could have made in that time!
EffinAhole 0
The sandwich jokes are really not funny. Op- pick up a book
RedPillSucks 33
^^ This.... Turn of the TV and read a book or go for a jog for goodness sakes....
SwiftCashew 0
Your options are: 1) Break the TV with a hammer. Problem solved.
MonkeyBusiness_fml 3
Why?
klutzycleo 5
@ 96, finally, someone who has some sense! Uhm, why not just unplug the TV if you don't wanna watch it?
pianogrl 0
17, win. RIP Billy Mayes. He has the power of selling anything by yelling!
FreeCandyVan 0
yeah, the buttons work until they decide to stop workong...
simpleplan239999 1
I think the sandwich jokes are hilarious. andd I'm a girl :P
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
AppleCoFreak 0
This comment was posted exactly 1 year ago
AppleCoFreak 0
This comment was posted exactly 1 year ago
MrsDruidess 23
yeah, try turning the TV off! I am sure there are other things you could do. They use to make these things, their like a collection of words and stories, multi paged, bound together, I believe they were called books. . . it might just be a rumor but I believe in them.
thatguynamedsky 32
my tv doesn't have any buttons at all and its useless without the remote; I've had the same problems as op
GreekYogurt 26
You need to brush up on your reading. Before you insult other people, check your spelling.
nevada_girl 6
so...turn off the tv?
Bees_fml 0
Exactly. I say turn off the effing TV and go outside!
Poepiepiesie 3
Unplugging sounds life threatening indeed.
kofinater 3
I'm just wondering why she stayed there, she could of just gone on the computer and watch hulu or something, but no buttons is very very starnge
Bees_fml 0
Of?
0hSleeper 0
# 51 You must be from the South. That is a common grammatical mistake down here. :) Oh and penis pump lady......derp.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
lmaoo!!
breenarae25 0
rawrrrr
sublimefan 0
turn off the tv or get another remote?
killabee 0
I bet looking for the remote consisted of lifting your fat rolls and checking your bowl of cheetos. Get up and find the remote!!!
ArtOfDesire 7
Honestly, get a life. Take a walk, look around, and I'm sure you'll find something much more interesting than whatever's on TV.
Miss_Awesome_101 0
your funny #6
maggieisbatman 10
Well geez what's your issue?
bluefairy_fml 24
What sort of TV is that, without buttons?? Surely there has to be a way to turn it off, or you can simply unplug it. Unless you exagerrated for the FML's sake, you really deserved it.
garza559 0
lazy
CitrusGirl 0
So go do something besides watching tv!
hidingoutt7 0
I'm starting to think I need one lol
padlarf 14
power... button...