Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
Today, I finally finished building my own custom TV stand that would work in my small living room with brick walls. Now I can't find the remote. Anywhere. FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
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Top comments
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
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Comments (169)
_IDEK_9 3
ydi for watching tv . go outside..
Waffle817 0
yes you sound like you need a penis pump
xFaust_fml 12
Why do you watch it? Turn the tv off...
ANTLink19 4
get a computer? get a new tv? get a life? pick one.
meganpaige 0
obviously she has a computer. >.<
ohmybejeezus 6
Or a phone...
AssDan 0
Oh hun, I'm sorry about that. I put the remote somewhere your fat ass would never find it. Check the bottle holder on the treadmill. Your husband PS. You do have a penis.
rmsully8 0
Winn!!!
DaleksAreEpic 0
A worthy endeavor indeed.
littlemissdqgirl 8
She must mean she's too lazy to get off her ass to shut it off. All tvs have at the very least a power butten. Then again they also usually have chanel and volume buttens as well.
A_50cal_goes 0
as always... win ^
stronghand0331 17
They slowly creep in with their penis pumps and mesmerize you so that you lose all brain function, your fingers go numb and you just CAN'T change that channel! The sex industry today is ever changing
blakid 10
And people usually know how to spell button too.
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
time for a sex change lady.
stronghand0331 17
She doesn't need s a sex change to enjoy a penis pump... It could be a juicer of some sort.
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
yer sick..
Nerrage 0
And I think a sex change is a bit worse than using a product in a way it wasn't intended. Juicer ftw!
stronghand0331 17
No, not sick. Just practical. Anyone want some fresh squeezed lemonade? Ha... But seriously..
fadingaway 17
You let adverts trick you into wanting their products, and you can't turn the tv off or unplug it? YDI
QWERTYCommander 5
It's called a power button. They were on TV's since their invention. Press it. No, don't pull it up. Press it down. There you go. And I thought I was lazy.
disney_blonde 16
Turn it off or buy a universal remote. Only blame yourself for continuing to watch an infomercial for so long.