By Anonymous - 06/05/2011 18:09 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 694
You deserved it 52 100

Same thing different taste

Top comments

42- That comment was made so much better by the cat in your picture.


I have never heard the expression "spanking the ferret" before. I literally thought that he was spanking a pet ferret until his dad started knocking. Whoops :/

johnson94 5

the way people phrase things just worry me at times.

adjacent 2

Why does the first person always respond with one word? I think they just want to be the first person to comment, but if you want to be the first person and make it count you should write something really sophisticated and astonishing so people actually have something to comment on!

28-- Because they're assholes who act like rabid dogs when they see they have a chance to become 1st. So, they quickly rush, in hopes to get some sort of fulfillment or meaning their life, to comment like their life depends on it. To make the process faster, they write seemingly stupid comments such as "hahaha," "lol," "lmao," or dear I say the word that sends all mods to an anger frenzy: "First!" People who write first, with some incredibly stupid comment, should just follow it up with, "(Im'a douchebag.) Should lol or haha or lmao be considered a comment? They should get moderated for being so annoying!

HugeRedRash 0

awww 28 umad cause you couldn't comment first? poor baby

seriously? this is a website. you clearly are giving too much of a **** if you're writing novels about the content in first comments. use all that energy you put in lipping randoms and put it in bettering your community.

pinstriped31 7
danishay 4

I thought he ment a actually ferret at first...

staceysgenesis16 0

welll thatsss fantastic ahaha ... awwwwkkwwwaarrdd

zendaddy0 0

spanking the ferret wow that's a weird fetish

wait .. ferret? omg it's a dick! so he's calling his dick hairy? I dnt think he means 'spanking' either wats staying power..? ur from Saudi Arabia on a mostly English speaking website.. plz dnt let us be confused with pumping ur dick to animal abuse so confusing ):

littlemissFYL 5

spank the ferret? what the ****? do you torture the parrot, too?

same it took me a while to figure it out i thoght his dad thought he was jacking off when he was just hitting his pet ferrot

choke the chicken. beating the meat. releaseing potential children out to the wilderness. but why hit a poor ferret? of all things to do in a bathroom...

flickyourbic1223 7

46 and 68 are so right. Also people who reply ON the first comment without actually replying TO the first comment. It just screams "hey I just want to get my comment near the top." 115 you are the most annoying commenter ever. Can someone second that?

staceysgenesis16 0

170... do you hate me or something? because i dont believe ive done anything to hurt you in life? i appologize for my "annoying" comments. if youdont like them, dont let them bother you.

lovin_darkness 0

153- it says hes from Saudi Arabia. learn to read

collegegirl87 0

173, I think 153 is implying that the OP lied about his location.

48-- When OP wrote "Spanking the ferret," he meant he was masturbating. Does life seem more clear now?

Oh whoops this FML inspired me to go out and spank a ferret

Xtra_Cheddar 3

At first I was like "why was he spanking his pet ferret?" then I was like "ooooohhhhhh" that's a new one

zyxwvutsrqponmlk_fml 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
EverybodyHatesCh 0

I know right. thats missed up!!!! ferret abuse!!!

42- That comment was made so much better by the cat in your picture.

So it took me a while to realize what he was referring to. I'm usually on top of these things, but I've never heard if this one before. But hey, maybe the sick **** really was abusing his pet ferret?

I'm just gonna take this opportunity to say I might actually hit a ferret, because they're ******* disgusting. *prepares weaponry for PETA-scumfuck ranting*

I think it's a cultural thing. I mean Americans say "beat the/my meat"

I wonder how you would've response to him saying he was buffing the banana

billyXcore 0

bahahaha! I have 2 ferrets and at first was like 'waaaat?? why would you want to hurt them!!!' but I get it now.

hahahahaha and this comment has 69 likes...

LOL omg i'm dying, all this new terminology is killing me

This comment has probably the most likes I've ever seen haha

mlebethbear 0

Heres some I found.... Slap yo meat,beat the duck,handle your snake,flail the penis, choke it out, and finally abuse the ferret

adjacent 2

Yes, I enjoy spanking ferret's too, or maybe even squirrels, thats also something that makes me happy, too bad they are too hard to spank sometimes and come at you.

uncbballwins 0

Hahahaha. Oh wait.... Not funny

uncbballwins 0

okay.... what the **** FML? you just switched 6 and 7's spots.. making me look like an asshole.

manny2 0
Idonebeenhad 17

They come at you powered by nuts

HugeRedRash 0
uncbballwins 0

hahahahah... oh wait... that's not funny..

HugeRedRash 0

Who said I was trying to be funny, bro?

uncbballwins 0

damn bro meant for number 7 my bad homez

HugeRedRash 0
octinate 17

no cause that takes time and they would then not be first

Sweetpea137 0
VampireKiller59 0

WHEATLEY! (im not sure if thats how you spell it)

uncbballwins 0

I don't get it why was he spanking a ferret? :/

ahahahahaha thats just funny mate... yer dad is kool.

I'm really not much of a grammar Nazi. But your spelling just pisses me off. Seriously, try not to type like a 3 year old.

HugeRedRash 0

21 get over it and find better things to do with your time

uncbballwins 0

why is gayboii still on FML?

What did gayboii "do?" I've seen people question his appearance multiple times.

FMLandurstoo 9
staceysgenesis16 0

i like the way gayboii types !! its in a scott accent n i find it humorous !! so *** off >=

4XxXo_OxXx4 0

because he says "mate" it sounds Scottish? idts.

21- piss of ya prick, he's Scottish aswell as me, we speak like that, deal wi it

I don't give a **** what you are. It's not hard to use semi-proper English.

staceysgenesis16 0

no actually i wasnt referring to the word "mate" ... for example when he said "yer" .. your an idiot ..

staceysgenesis16 0

148 .. i understand where ur coming from but and i understand that your a grammer nazi but i dont think anybody gives a *** .. :]

his uhhh... His name is gayboii. I think that's enough reason

Oh the joys of coming across my old FML comments. -_-

Idonebeenhad 17

I like the last sentence in your profile^ :) Btw, did you make a new acc, or did you get a mod to change your name?

cammiixy 4

by ferret u mean ur dick right???

No. He means his balls. DISCLAIMER: Never spank your balls. Unless you plan to film it and put it on YouTube.

4XxXo_OxXx4 0

are you retarded? you should know he means that he was spanking his GERBIL, which is VERY taboo, so he wrote ferret. you should have caught on to the fact that he meant gerbil instead of ferret...