Intimacy, Sex, Awkward and Fight: Fight ****

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 290

Intimacy Sex Awkward Fight

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I love that for you

By NeedHeadPhone - 30/11/2009 16:51 - Canada

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 983

You deserved it 2 987

Badass

By batter--up - 17/02/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 700

You deserved it 2 691

By Bear - 01/02/2009 17:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 390

You deserved it 5 973

By suckstobeme - 24/03/2010 15:00 - United States

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 290

You deserved it 4 686

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 167

You deserved it 3 145

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 97

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 756

You deserved it 7 582

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 349

Weird family

By call me humpty - 30/06/2018 20:30

Today, my dad knocked me down the steps while chasing my brother around the house shouting, "Get back here you pervert!" at the top of his lungs. I have a concussion and a vertebrae fracture because my dad is a religious nutjob and he caught my 22-year-old brother having premarital sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 480

You deserved it 345

There's a time and a place

By Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 635

You deserved it 4 657

Plop 17

Monday 11 July 2022 13:49

Well, be glad it's not the alternative. Your mental sanity is a small price to pay in exchange for your mom getting spanked into blissful oblivion.

Anderling 32

Monday 11 July 2022 14:31

Your mother is lucky to have you. I’m sorry about what you had to see but I suppose it beats the alternative.

Comments

Plop 17

Monday 11 July 2022 13:49

Well, be glad it's not the alternative. Your mental sanity is a small price to pay in exchange for your mom getting spanked into blissful oblivion.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 11 July 2022 14:30

Then smack her in the ass with your cricket bat. Talk about a sticky wicket! Right in the blockhole!

Anderling 32

Monday 11 July 2022 14:31

Your mother is lucky to have you. I’m sorry about what you had to see but I suppose it beats the alternative.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 16 July 2022 20:24

Well, your heart was in the right place lol. That's better than him actually hitting her in an abusive way.

Keywords

Sex Intimacy Weird Underwear Love Awkward First Dates LGBTQIA+ AITA Relatable Parenting Kids Health Poopoo peepee Gross DIY Money Work Ableism Religion Revenge Argument Abuse Therapist Harassment Coffee Skincare Embarrassing Parents Family

The Top

Today, at my new job at McDonald’s, they only had uniform pants in a size 36 or 56, nothing in between. I’m a size 40 so I squeezed into the 36. When I told my supervisor I couldn’t tuck my shirt into the pants like they asked, because I couldn’t close the top button, she told me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 174

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 334

You deserved it 4 289

The Top

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 719

You deserved it 3 594

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 242

You deserved it 2 832

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 1 610

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 639

You deserved it 40 973

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 642

You deserved it 6 821

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 150