Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
harmony88 0
Surely you could have waited until you were at home to take the test....
juliadream 0
...why the Target bathroom? As opposed to the privacy of your own bathroom...?
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Comments (145)
shalizzz 0
There's a million possible reasons why she decided to take the pregnancy test there and not at home. Maybe the OP shares a house with other people, like her parents/her boyfriend/roommates, and she didn't want to risk them seeing the pregnancy test or its package in the trash can and thus finding out about the possible pregnancy. Or maybe she couldn't get home until later and she was really frightened or really excited that she might be pregnant and just couldn't wait until she got home.
Jbeatlebuggy 0
Newsflash: Crap smells. Its not like shes going to crap out rose scented poop.
Firetiger 0
#9, if you want to make an arguement, you should probably spell things correctly, that way you sound more reliable. I laughed when I read #13's comment. YDI, im sure you have taken a crap like that before. We all do it. And you dont know who she is, she may be someone who is sick and had to shit out all of the medicine she took. (just an example, you dont know her situation)
ziggyknox 0
*argument
TheHeroOfTime 0
Argument* Astrix goes after the incorrectly spelled word or incorrectly grammaramasized sentence
boatkicker 5
argument* The correction should have the same capitalization that the original mistake was supposed to have. In this case, no capital A.
Blazekim12 0
If you are pregnant have fun telling your kid that you discovered tht he existed in Target.CONGRATS MOMMA!
thatguy1103 0
Ohhh, I love the Target bathrooms.. they smell like fruit loops or something.. ya know when people aren't taking "fragrant craps"?
thesunshotme 0
Wow, everyone's so judgmental. I'm sure none of you have ever been so worried/excited about anything in your life. You know, the kind of vomit inducing excitement/worry you feel when it's almost unbearable to have to wait find something out. In this case, OP either desperately hoped she wasn't pregnant, or was excited to find out if she was pregnant. Either way, she couldn't wait. I'd wager that she hoped she wasn't pregnant and wanted to know the truth at the moment. Or, probably did not want to take any chances of people at home finding the pregnancy test. If so, THAT'S the FML. The fragrant crap was just an added bonus, making it even more FML-y. Let the flames begin. I'll help you: FML-y isn't a word.
myfriend_youfail 3
I don't think you realize, OP, that public restrooms/bathrooms, contrary to their names, are not for resting or bathing in. You go into those rooms to make stool or urine. WTF did you expect???????? If you were really that desperate to take the pregnancy test, then damn...maybe you should have just squatted down in Aisle 3 and done it right there in front of God and everybody. At least then your poor, delicate nose wouldn't be assaulted with the scent of shit, right?
VirtuallyUnbreak 0
^ Hahaha
Thecommish 0
Pathetic. You're in such a sad position that you couldn't wait to get home? YDI for putting yourself into such a per-dick-a-ment.
Starfire22 5
Wouldn't you have noticed that someone was taking a crap when you first went into the bathroom? So why didn't you just go to a different public restroom? I understand the feeling of wanting to know imediatley if your preggers or not, but if I go to a public restroom and it smells bad, I just go to a different store... It's not like you really had to pee or really had to shit...