Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
harmony88 0
Surely you could have waited until you were at home to take the test....
juliadream 0
...why the Target bathroom? As opposed to the privacy of your own bathroom...?
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Comments (145)
failuristic 3
Hmm... Since you weren't taking the test in the comfortable privacy of your own bathroom, I can only assume you're one of those underaged high school bimbos who ***** as many guys as she can on the weekends.... So, YDI, use the power of trojans next time, hmmm? :D
boatkicker 5
There are plenty of reasons why someone who DID want a kid could take one in a public bathroom. 1) They just bought it, and didn't want to spend the time going home. they wanted to know right now. Too Eager to wait. 2) They have been trying for a while and don't want to get their significant other all excited if its for nothing. Seeing the wrapper in the trash might do that.
harmony88 0
It's not as if it's hard to hide things in the trash..... I've done it quite frequently to hide evidence of my moral shortcomings when I'm around people who would care enough to raise a ruckus about it.
FairLouisa 0
I must agree with the others, why take a pregnancy test in the Target bathroom anyway? I assume you are too young to think of a pregnancy as a celebratory thing... FYL though, really. This sounds like the epitome of fail. I'm sorry.
greeneye_fml 12
Thats what happens in public bathrooms.
lifeisaplay 0
It's called waiting until you get home!
amyehoch 0
wow people cool it with the comments its an entertainment website. Seriously people get the hell over it
perdix 31
What? Do you have synesthesia? You "listened" (auditory) to a "fragrant" (olfactory) crap? The sad thing is that if you PASS the test, it's a FAIL for the child.
Lonely_Lez 0
hah... synethesia... perdix, have I told you lately how awesome you are?
perdix 31
Thanks, Lonely. I believe you gave me a "win" recently, so I know you are out there looking. I'm happy I can make you laugh.
pink_socks_rock 0
Did anyone ever think that possibly OP's home isn't somewhere that she could take a pregnancy test? I think the FML here is that she couldn't actually take the test at home, & as she took said test, someone was taking a stinky dump in the same bathroom. That definitely sounds like an FYL to me.
dunyone1 0
thats what i was thinking. if only people were less ignorant and more considerate of what could actually be the situation ...
myfriend_youfail 3
How is THAT a FYL? People shit in restrooms. "Oh noes, someone was doing a Number Two in the same bathroom I was using to pee on a stick! Never mind that that's exactly what restrooms are intended for!" People. Poop. OP needs to get over it.
SupaSwaggin 0
eeewwwwww
terriibabiiix23 0
why were yuh listening to a woman taking a crrap ? your werid.
kfroz0415 4
Ok I'm sure listening to the woman next to you and smelling the stench was awful, but this is why most women decide to take a pregnancy test in a private bathroom. SUCH AS her OWN home, friend's house, family member's house, or significant other's house. Sorry I have to say YDI just because I know how exciting it can be to be pregnant or I can assume just as eager to find out you're not; but it just seems trashy to use a store's restroom for testing.