Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
harmony88 0
Surely you could have waited until you were at home to take the test....
juliadream 0
...why the Target bathroom? As opposed to the privacy of your own bathroom...?
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Comments (145)
KassyNicole 0
Are you sure she wasn't having a baby?
wthefluff 0
not sure why you think taking a dump in the target bathroom is worse than taking a pregnancy test there..
prettystoopid 0
wow taking a pregnancy test in target....classy. where are you going to have his first birthday? I hear the bathroom george michael jerked off in is available..
youdeservedit1 0
OMG lmao, best comment I've seen in awhile
SarahMarie83 0
Well at least you only had to listen to it. Most of us would have also had to endure an assault on our nose from the stench as we squatted over a dirty toilet praying for a negative while trying to figure out how to tell mommy and/or daddy. You're a lucky girl!
Brooklynxman 0
Taking a pregnancy test in a Target bathroom. The definition of classy.
sweatteaforme001 0
People pooping in the restroom! Oh, the scandal! I could understand taking the test at Target, especially if you don't want mom/roommates/SO to know about it...but if you sit in a public restroom for 10 mins, your gonna be privy to bodily functions!
HelloItsSam 0
I think it qualifies, it's already horrible that she had to take one, nerve wracking and embarrassing as it is, then she goes into the bathroom and someone's taking a massive dump..she had to sit throught the whole thing to find out if her life was over.
Lisasimpsonfan 0
#77 Her life isn't over. She can get an abortion, give it up to adoption or keep it. Thank Jebus we have choices.
HelloItsSam 0
I'm guessing you bought and took the test right away because you were afraid you were pregnant, not hoping to be pregnant, so was it at least negative after that, or positive?
vita_questa_roba 0
I work at Target. It's ghetto to take a pregnancy test in public.
RigChan 0
YDI. You could have taken the test at home, crisis would have been averted. =_=
joedog62 2
also she could have been living with her parents so she couldn't go home and take it